How does one develop a sense of worth? Questioning self-worth is an issue that affects all age levels, from teenagers to seniors. The statistics are pretty alarming, and maybe a little surprising. Seniors tend to grapple with this issue the most.
Maybe it’s the mid-winter doldrums. Maybe it’s mid-life. Maybe it’s just feeling mid. But this question has surfaced in a variety of situations and conversations to which I have been privy lately.
By definition, self-worth is typically cultivated through actions and achievements. In the world in which we live, worth is built on accomplishment; it is how value is established. “What value do you bring to this position?” is sometimes a job interview question.
Worth, value. We hear these two words in a variety of contexts: What are you worth? What do you value? Are you valued? Is that a good value? Is that worthy of my time?
And another: What’s it worth to you? In other words, to what extent would you go? What would you sacrifice? How are you worthy, meaning how and why are you deserving of resources?
The bottom line is this: you’re not. In fact, none of us is any more deserving than another. There is nothing you or I can do or be, over a sustained period of time, that will justify the consumption of resources - whether it’s time or goods. When it comes to worth and value, we either have none, or at least, limited value when it comes to the physical world. There are expiration dates everywhere when it comes to our influence and efficacy in relationships and work.
If that’s the case, then what’s the point?
I’m glad you asked. That (^) viewpoint on worth and value is very narrow and limited, and not only false, but skewed.
True worth and value can and should only be defined in terms of the One who created us. He is the only One who truly (no strings attached and no expiration dates) values us.
Listen: He is the one who crafted the masterpiece (one-of-a-kind) called us. He chose all the elements - the size of a nose, the ability to find the exact problem with an engine, the gift of seeing beauty where no one else does. It was HIS time dedicated to the task and cause. All these - choice, time, dedication - determine the value and worth of the product called us. The closest we can get to understanding what that actually means is by being a parent. But, despite our best efforts and intentions, even being a parent cannot instill a sense of worth in another person.
We have to understand, or at least, acknowledge, our value in terms of Him. No human will ever value us as He does. We will never value ourselves as He does.
Our worth is being carefully and lovingly created and curated to look, sound, act, think and feel exactly as we are - to have the sense of humor (or not), the passions, compulsions, gifts, concerns, intuitions and essence that we do/are. Our worth is being exactly what He created us to be.
What we do, how we talk, what we focus on, how we look, what we worry about does not diminish or tarnish our worth in His eyes.
He is most definitely sad when we abuse our bodies by drinking or eating too much, when we take His name in vain and slander the names of others, when we turn to everything else but Him when we are anxious, and most definitely when we make fun of, are cruel to, or ignore the worth and value of His other creations - human or creature. He created it and them all. They are all His treasures.
The trap is allowing the world to define our worth, because in a fallen (meaning, self-centered) world we will NEVER, ever be enough. There is, and always will be, some new yard stick as measure, some new or different opinion on what is desirable or best, some other person grabbing us by the back of the shirt so that s/he can push past us, some reminder of how we have missed the mark or standard.
The latter is often tied to an unfulfilled longing - an inner invisible force, or “ping,” that was included in our original “package” - a “ping” perfectly and specifically attributed to us. That “hole” or longing is what we allow to diminish our self-worth. We seek, sometimes find, sometimes run from, and sometimes are afraid to pursue ways to fill that hole. We feel “less than,” or failure, because that hole hasn’t been filled. . .yet.
Yet.
Self-worth, in its original design, is not attached to time. We are the ones who decide that there is a timeline involved. The Creator does not. His sense of time in terms of right or perfect, not in seconds, minutes, days, weeks, or years.
Worth, worthiness, value is a constant for the Creator, not a variable. It was when we began, it is now, and it will be forever.
We don’t have to do. We are.
Our value is that we are.
We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). The phrase “fearfully and wonderfully” suggests awe, astonishment, wonder, and humility regarding God’s masterful creation, us.
We are loved. Our worth is His love. Our value is that we are His. When we sing the song of us - live as the person He created us to be, fulfilling the purpose He intended for our lives - our lives are a song of praise to Him, and the circle is complete. There are no more questions about worth and value.
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