About three hours ago, our beloved Juno, a half pug half rat terrier, was put to sleep. She was 18 1/2 years old. She had been in our family since she was four months old. June has been with us for half of our entire married life.
In the last year, she had lost control of her back end. Her back legs often gave out, bowel and bladder control were increasingly more out of control. She had cataracts and couldn’t hear as well. All understandable given her age. But Juno’s sniffer worked fine; she could smell the neighbor dogs on the road with no difficulty. And she was still a loyal companion. As always, she followed me around as best she could. She slept 90% of her days away, and during the 10%, she was always nearby.
Given all her difficulties, given the fact that she was no longer able to enjoy the lake in the same way (if not leashed, she would roll right into the water), given the fact that she had lost a lot of weight, given the fact that I had to carry her in and out of the house to do her business, and given the fact that she was increasingly failing, we agreed to have her put to sleep today.
Our logic was that we wanted her to feel safe and loved vs. have to be put to sleep because something traumatic had happened. Both of our kids and their families made a point to come by and say goodbye to her. Both my husband and I were there with her to the end. Both of us petted and talked to her through it all. She went to sleep, and we stayed with her after it was all done. We just love her so much.
And yet, I am STRUGGLING with guilt. Did we do the right thing? Was it more humane to do it this way, or would it have been better to wait until. . .what? She hurt herself? Was worse? I tried bargaining with God - lots of prayers - please just let her go to sleep, but that didn’t happen.
I love that dog more than anything.
Please tell me.
Did I do right by her?
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