Getting Bogged Down

Before becoming "staffers" at Bible camps, both of my kids went through Serf Camp at Lake Beauty Bible Camp. The name has now been changed to L.I.T (Leaders in Training), but the idea behind the camp was to cultivate a heart of servanthood (because that is vital when working at a Bible Camp), learn the value of teamwork, and determine strengths in order to determine when and where a potential staffer might be best used at a Bible Camp.

One Serf Camp activity was the Bog Walk. The Lake Beauty acreage is fairly substantial, and a portion of the property is a swamp/bog. For this activity, Serf campers dressed in t-shirts, pants, and shoes (preferably old and potentially disposable), secured themselves to each other and a leader with a rope around the waist, and traversed the bog.

It sounds like a fairly easy activity. However, the bog is deceptive. What may look like a solid piece of turf may actually be a floating chunk of grass. Take a firm step on this grass, and a camper may easily find him/herself up to his/her neck in murky, stinky swamp water. . .hence the reason for the rope. Your teammates keep you from sinking to the bottom and pull you out of the suction cup of mud.

While I personally have never completed the bog walk, I have seen the results. A reward for completing the bog walk is a jump in the lake, and I have seen the bog walkers emerge from the woods. Most look as though they have been treading water in septic tank; they are mud, head-to-toe, with grass, lily pads, and weeds as a bonus decoration.

In addition, I have also smelled the results. For whatever reason, my son decided to take his clothing home with him. . .after they had been through the bog, rinsed in lake water, and stuffed into a garage bag for two weeks. There are no words to describe that kind of foul.

Even though my kids thought it was great, I am fairly certain that the bog walk does not need to be added to my Bucket List. I get panicky when I fall off a kneeboard or tube and am stuck in the middle of a lake too long by myself. I immediately worry about the weeds and fish that might be underneath my feet. Therefore, I can't imagine sinking up to my neck and being immersed in or immobilized by stinky muck. The thought of what might be in the muck with me would make me hyper-ventilate.

The bog walk came to mind when I read the term, "spiritual muddle," this morning. "Spiritual muddle" is getting bogged down in the muddy waters of our own creation we don't immediately obey God's directives.

God has given humans wonderful abilities that surpass His other creation. One is the ability to think intelligently - to apply logic and reasoning to problem-solve effectively. While it may drive us nuts at time, the ability to think and reason is very satisfying.

The problem is that we often take this ability too far and start to rely on reason versus obedience and faith. The ability is a gift to be used as we navigate the physical life, but it is not meant to supersede faith-based obedience.

Nothing illustrates the situation better than Peter's midnight stroll on a stormy lake in Matthew 14:

27"Take courage. it is I. Don't be afraid."

28 "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

29 "Come," he said.

Then,Peter got down out of the boat and walked on the water to jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

31 Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

Even though it wasn't a nasty bog that he needed to cross, Peter needed a healthier dose of confidence than that of the Serf campers to walk the white caps on the Sea of Galilee. For one, it was night time. Secondly, the water was roiling and turbulent, and thirdly, he was going solo - there was no rope around his waist for his pals to use to yank him out. All of his concentration, faith and focus was on one source.

The problem occurred when he allowed himself to become distracted. In the blink of an eye, Peter went from surfing to bog walking. Honestly, I can't blame the guy. I think it's safe to say that he did better than most of us; he at least got out of the boat!

"Spiritual muddle" occurs when we find ourselves like Peter, up to our necks, all because we have allowed logic and reason to muddy what, truly, is so clear. WE make the water muddier and sink down deeper by allowing distractions and complexities to cloud our thinking. The more we analyze the issue, the more complicated and confusing it gets.

The bottom line is that we are acting like willful and stubborn children. We just don't want to obey, so we tell ourselves that we need time to "think things through." At first blush, it sounds like a very responsible and mature action. In the spiritual realm, it is still just plain, old disobedience. If anything, our first impulse (other than immediate obedience, of course) should be to get down on our knees and ask for clarity, not rely on ourselves for the answer.

The point is that "the tiniest thing we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is quite sufficient to account for spiritual muddle. When the natural power of vision is devoted to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the power of perceiving God's Will and the whole life is kept in simplicity" (Oswald Chambers).

If we simply obey right away, the Bog Walk is a cake walk.

Something's Fishy

Just for something to do, Mike and I decided to go fishing on Saturday. As we were on our way to one lake, Mike thought of a boat landing within easy access of our house and turned off there. We had never fished that particular lake before, so he thought it might be a good adventure.

As soon as we got to the landing, however, I was ready to leave.

It smelled like sewage. I am not even kidding. Apparently, it's a pretty weedy lake, and after a recent wind, a large pile of seaweed had collected along the shore. Combined with the sun and heat, the piles were pretty ripe.

Mike persisted (although, I did notice that he didn't jump in to unhook the boat as he usually does), and we were off. The water was a pea soup green, and everywhere we looked, there were weeds. At times, the motor struggled a bit due to getting wrapped up in the green gook.

We dropped our lines and waited. . .and waited. . .and waited. Neither one of us had a single bite. We watched plenty of fish go by, large rough fish, that is, and carp would jump out of the water on a regular basis. Likewise, we noticed that we were, in fact, the ONLY ones on the lake.

Grossed out, we finally left. Once the boat was out of the water, we spent the next 10 minutes pulling weeds off the boat and trailer. We agreed that this was going to be a one-time experience. That lake was a hopeless cause.

A few minutes later, we dropped the boat into one of our favorite spots. The water was clear, and the air smelled clean.

In spite of the wind, the lake was well-populated with boats and pontoons. Everywhere we looked, people were in or on the water, laughing and having a good time. Due to the heavy traffic, we knew that our plans for fishing were going to have to change. Nevertheless, we enjoyed a peaceful boat ride anyway.

So what does my pointless fish story have to do with anything? Well, it reminds me of church.

People just don't want to go to church anymore. In fact, if you bring up the topic with some, they get ornery and hostile at the mention of it. After trolling the internet for statistics, it seems the only ones who are going with regularity are people over 65 (60%). The next closest group are people with kids (on the Sundays when their kids don't have a scheduled activity). The worst? 18-30 year olds at about a third (28%). And just for fun. . . more women than men go to church.

Why don't people want to go to church? And what does this have to do with the fish story?

Even though I have no hard data to offer, here are various reasons that I have heard in the past:

I don't believe that God exists. That's just a fairy tale.
The people at churches are too judgmental and cliquey.
The people at church are such hypocrites.
I'm too busy. My family/I need one day off a week to relax and be together.
It's boring and irrelevant.

That's a pretty tough list, especially since, in some cases, those are justifiable claims. Since 83% of Americans claim to be Christians, is the concept of church even necessary?

Apparently, God thinks so. It's not one of the Ten Commandments, and it's not in the Great Commandment, but it is an expectation of a Christ-centered life. While there are many verses that address the idea, I John 1:7 seems to sum it up best: "But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin." It's a package deal by choice. With Christ at the root of our existence, we will want to meet with others to worship God and encourage one another.

Ok, so what's the problem?

Well, let me ask a counter question. When a person is fishing, and the fish aren't biting, the problem is clear. The question is whose problem is it? The fish don't want to bite, and they don't have to, but if a fisherman wants to be successful, s/he has to find the right bait.

The same is true of the church. In Matthew 4:19, Jesus said, "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." While the comical maxim, " A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work," is true for the church as well, the fact is churches are floundering because the fishermen are using the wrong bait and/or are choosing "easy" lakes to fish.

In his book, The Church of Irresistible Influence, Robert Lewis states that today's church resembles a basketball camp. "With all the difficult and sometimes tedious focus on training, skill development, conditioning, and position selection, we never actually play the game. In all our activity and hard work, we have missed the bigger picture. . .becoming salt and light in a needy and searching world."

Worse, Lewis continues, the church has become "a refuge from the world, a sort of Christian country "club" that has exhausted itself in trying to keep its members happy" and as a result, excluding others (not physically, but socially) from the club.

That said, let's revisit the reasons why people don't want to come to church and dissect them a bit.

1) I don't believe that God exists. That's just a fairy tale.

The only way to address this statement is to prove His existence, but how do we, as believers, do that? We have to believe He exists by faith. It's not like God is a tangible being that a person can touch, see, and talk to?

Baloney.

God IS real and tangible. His existence is proven every day in myriad ways, and it's up to us to show others. God is always at work and moving. All the time. He answers prayer. He opens windows when doors close. Each of us has a story to tell to attest to that fact. Our lives are continuous testimonies, waiting to be shared.

If you claim to be a Christian but cannot think of a single story to share in which God has revealed himself and/or changed your life in some way, then you better start paying attention, opening your eyes and heart.

If you claim to be a Christian but clam up when the opportunity to testify concerning God and what He has done arises, then you better reread Matthew 5:13-16 and pray for courage to fulfill your mission as a Christ follower.

It's our job to show people that God is not make-believe, but there is a happy ending to this story.

2. The people at churches are too judgmental and cliquey.

A recent fad in today's church has been the concept of small group ministry. In theory, it sounds like a great idea - members keeping track of each other, encouraging each other, challenging each other and being accountability partners. And all of that is true. . .for those who are lucky enough to be in a small group.

But what about those who aren't in one? Sure, churches invite. . .from the pulpit. . .by offering a contact person. Likewise, most small groups claim to be open, but the fact is that many of these small groups, over time, turn to cliquey social Jesus clubs. In short, most small groups are not functioning the way they were intended.

For example, after surveying small group participants, "we discovered that after four to five years of involvement in the small group ministry that is central to our church, people began to feel unchallenged and stifled. . .they had always been told that they were to be 'equipped,' but the data raised a greater question: 'Equipped for what?'" (Lewis)

Put yourself into the position of a person entering your church for the first time. It's like starting a brand-new school in a brand-new city. You need a friendly face - someone to make you feel welcome, someone to sit with, calm your nerves, show you where everything is.

And that's the procedure for someone who is brave enough, on his/her own to enter the church.

To be a true "fisher of men" means that the fisherman has to be willing to traverse the lakes that everyone has rejected or avoided. S/he has to look beyond the weeds, smell, etc (undesirable or physical circumstances) and use the right bait, which are the Fruits of the Spirit. Sure, the clear, heavily-populated lakes are generally preferable because there is a better yield with less effort. However, In considering how Christ spent his 33 years on earth, it seems as though none of us have a single excuse to avoid those lakes. Not for a single second do we get the luxury to say, "That's just not my gift," or "I would rather not."

As Oswald Chambers says, "Ministering as opportunity surrounds us does not mean selecting our surroundings. It means being very selectly God's in any haphazard surroundings which He engineers for us."

3. People at church are such hypocrites.

Yes, they can be. This is true for any and everybody, but Christians, especially, are raked over the coals for this one. For whatever reason, people have decided that Christianity equals moral perfection. Once a person gets well-acquainted with Romans, s/he figures out quickly that we are all in the same boat called the Titanic, and God has reserved a life boat just for us. Until that happens, we are dealing with an identity crisis.

So how do we as well as churches do that?

A) Be real. Be transparent.

No one is more adept at sniffing out a fake than a teenager. And once they detect a fake, they are merciless. The same can be said of unbelievers and Christians.

We are to share our testimonies, warts and all. That's how we show the transforming power of a relationship with Christ. If we keep secrets or avoid the hard topics, we are sending a clearer message than the truth would be. It does not mean we wear our issues and struggles as a badge of dishonor, shoving them on whomever gives us an ear. It means sharing them in appropriate, God-engineered situations for His purposes.

"Watch the kind of people God brings around you, and you will be humiliated to find out that this is His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him. Now, he says, exhibit to that one exactly what I have shown to you" (Chambers).

B) Model forgiveness and selflessness.

You can talk until you are blue in the face. It only matters what you do.

Yesterday's devotional passage was John 13: "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them" (15-17).

Today's was Matthew 20: 26-7  "Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant and whoever wants to be first must be your slave."

God seems clear about how this should work. Dissension in the church occurs when people focus on and worry about personal agendas vs humility and servanthood. Why would anyone want to go to or join a church when it's no different than what they see on a daily basis in the secular world?

C) Love the sinner; hate the sin.

"Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. All men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another." John 13: 34-5

"Love The Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22: 37-40

God first. People second. Period. He takes care of all the details.

4. I'm too busy. My family/I need one day off a week to relax and be together.

When I was at a women's retreat years ago, the speaker had a fitting acronym for the word, busy:

Being
Under
Satan's
Yoke

It's true that American families are overbooked these days. That's a cultural attitude that has become a reality. It's also true that it's one of Satan's ways to keep families away from church. The question for churches then is how to make church an invaluable, non-negotiable part of a family schedule. Once that happens, the idea is that eventually a family's priorities will change.

Again, the issue at hand is just like fishing. The pressure is on the fisherman to use the right bait.

Churches need to seriously consider these questions: Why should anyone or any family go to this church? What are the obstacles that might prevent a family from coming to this church and how to we address them?

While those are big picture questions to address, the bottom line is that each member has to take responsibility. It's not the church's responsibility to invite; it's the member's responsibility. A person will be more apt to try out a church, an activity, a small group. . .if personally asked. . .and asked repeatedly. . .after some sort of relationship has been cultivated.

It requires time and effort, and if you are a Christian and say you are too busy, go to #4, read, and repeat as necessary.

5. It's boring and irrelevant.

This one is tricky. There is a fine line between a church understanding the current culture and the people who live in that culture without adapting to it.

Robert Lewis discussed "cultural relevancy" in The Church of Irresistible Influence: "According to this strategy, churches can best address their receding influence through contemporary repackaging. Unfortunately, this strategy often goes too far. It becomes relevance at the expense of substance. In many contemporary churches, believers no longer carry Bibles. Worshipers seek an experience with God minus the commitment. Therapy replaces morality. Entertainment crowds out the cross. Is it maturity we are after, or the "feel good"? 'These new paradigm churches,' David Wells says, 'appear to be succeeding not because they are offering an alternative to modern culture, but because they are speaking with its voice and mimicking its moves.'"

To me, this issue resembles raising a kid, specifically a teenager. In order to effectively parent and/or mentor that teenager, you have to have a basic understanding of what kids' lives are like - what they are talking about, thinking about, doing, who they are hanging around, what is important to them, etc. It's not that you adapt your values or discipline to reflect that culture; it's that you understand where they are coming from so that you can try to empathize and be appropriately compassionate as the situation demands.

That said, there is no one-size-fits-all approach for any given church. All sorts of demographics play into that equation, but it definitely means addressing any cultural obstacles that might prevent someone from attending church. One radical idea might just be eliminating the word, "church," from the title. People are sometimes intimidated or have a negative reaction in just seeing that word. Scum of the Earth is the title of both a church in Denver, CO, and its sister church in Seattle, WA. Although controversial, the name was chosen to reflect the fact that they are a church "for the left out and right-brained." They have moved three times due to growth.

For the less radical, a possible starting point might be Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. First, are the physiological needs being met (food, shelter)? There is one church in the town in which I live that is particularly good at meeting the basic needs of the city's residents. Not coincidentally, it is also the biggest church in town.

Secondly, is the need to belong being fulfilled? A cultural fact is that many people in the world today do not know what a healthy family looks like. The basic nuclear family unit seems to be of another era. Popular culture (movies, music, etc) attest to the fact that people ALL long to be loved and accepted. The church is a safe and appropriate place for people to learn what loving and healthy relationships look like in Christ-centered environment.

In a culture where the concept of "self" is king, churches need to patiently model selflessness, humility, and servanthood. In the end, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5: 13-16)

"If the church functions with any other design than that of a bridge, it dooms itself. Our hard work over time will sink into the cold waters or irrelevancy, frustration, and despair. Great, charismatic preaching will drown in isolated, self-absorbed hearts. Innovation and cutting-edge technology without a new vision will become like a pile of rusted saltwater shipwreck" (Lewis).

As you start fishing, use the right bait:

Be God's 
Be a good listener
Be real
Be loving
Be available

". . .do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you" (Matthew 10: 19)

Call Me, Maybe?

Lately, cell phones are on my mind, specifically smartphones. My kids each have one, but my husband and I have dumb phones. As we have been thinking about options (Apple or Droid?), there is still a nagging doubt in the back of mind as to whether or not this is a good idea.

First, whether a person wants to admit it or not, smartphones are a new form of addiction for some people. I think you know exactly what I am talking about. These are the people who either a) have to have the phone in their hands all the time in order to "function," or b) have to repeatedly and compulsively check their Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc, accounts to the point of ignoring and/or disrupting present company.

Secondly, smartphones have seriously screwed up communication skills and abilities. Yes, phones have allowed us to stay connected and involved in each other's lives at a lightning pace. This is both good and bad. However, phones have seriously diminished and distorted the way in which people communicate with each other, and in no realm has this become more evident than that of teenagers.

Of my two kids, my daughter is, by far, more attached to her phone. It is her social lifeline. Likewise, that dang phone has wasted more time and caused more angst than any other issue in not only her life, but as a consequence, ours as well. However, you might be surprised to know that the angst has not been caused by females in her life; it's the males.

Here's the bottom line. Dating has been placed on the extinction list, due in part to the succession and subsequent domination of the cell phone. The result is that no one dates; everyone just "hangs out." Typically, this happens in a mixed gender group. Thumbs way up to this arrangement at first. It's a good and safe way to get to know someone. However, the idea is that eventually, you pick one and spend time alone with him/her, so you can actually talk and get to know one another, which leads to another problem.

No one talks. Have you noticed that? Adults are the only ones who use the phone to actually call and have a vocalized conversation. Kids NEVER do that. In fact, I can try to call both of my kids, and neither will pick up. However, if I send either a text, I will get a response back right away. Does that sound familiar?

Then there is the problem with texts themselves. Due to the fact that they are written and not spoken, the non-verbals, which provide the bulk of the message, are also missing. The result is that layers and layers of important informational details are omitted, which causes angst in interpretation. "What does that actually mean?" "Is she mad or just being sarcastic?"

And then, there is the freedom and false bravado that apparently accompanies cell phone use.  Erika has shown me various texts, tweets, and posts of friends, guys, and classmates that have (inwardly - always the poker face in reality) made my jaw drop. It seems as though many people apparently feel it is ok to say whatever one thinks without the responsibility to go with it. After all, they can't  see the faces of those receiving the message, so that makes it ok.

Add all this cell phone drama to the larger social issue concerning the denigration of the nuclear family unit, and you can see why and how the concept of dating has virtually disappeared.

And here's the deal. Unlike the rotary phone and party lines, people, particularly, girls miss it. Even though they may not know the particulars of how it works anymore, they know they are missing out on something.

So what do you do?

Ladies, you need to sit back and think hard about who you are and what you want out of life. Then, when you start entertaining male attention, you can match him up to your standards. If he doesn't make the cut, don't waste your time on him. Lastly, develop YOUR standards about relationships, and stick to them.  Here are my suggestions on the topic.

Decide what kind of girl you are. Here is the hard truth. Guys will take take what they can get. With that in mind, there are two categories of girls in the world: there are girls whom guys play with, and there are girls guys marry. Which one are you? The fact is that a guy is not interested in marrying a girl whom every other guy has kissed, pawed, etc. From the time she was little, I told Erika that her body is an amusement park for which only one man in the world has the entrance ticket. Know your worth, and stay firm. If the guys gets angry and leaves, thank your lucky stars. Crisis averted.

No guy wants to date a needy girl. Guys are, by design, competitive. They prefer to work for the prize. Needy girls are the girls who send ten texts and then get freaked out when he doesn't text back right away. These are the girls who drop everything and run as soon a guy texts. These are the girls who throw family and friends under the bus when a guy shows any interest. Guys like these girls because they are "easy." Yes, they can be sexually "easy," but they are easy to deal with because a guy deals with this type of girl on his terms. He holds all the power and knows it. Likewise, he gets what he wants when he wants it with no commitments.

If you have definite self-worth and standards and seem slightly aloof or "hard to get" (because you have definite self-worth and standards), it makes guys crazy. Guys are far more attracted to girls who are confident, know who they are, and know what they want. This leads to another good point.

If a guy texts after 10 p.m. and says he wants to see you right now, it's a booty call. He has an itch, and he wants you to scratch it. Here are the various scenarios: a) He has been hanging out with his guy friends or worse, with another girl, and he suddenly he thinks of you? That's offensive - a total red flag. Run. b) He just got off work. Big deal. If he really likes you, he will arrange a REAL date with you at another time. Quit justifying that text. Lay the smack down or delete his number.

That leads to another important point. Establish what your standards are with regard to a date. Dates are opportunities to get to know one another in the context of deciding the potentiality of a spouse. Therefore, date MEN, not boys.

For example, here is what I suggest. If HE wants to take you out on a date, a) he verbally ASKS you to go out on a date; he doesn't send a text (WUSS), b) he picks you up at your home; he does not "meet" you somewhere (WUSS), c) he comes to the door to get you; he does not wait in the car for you, d) he pays; he does not expect you to pay SINCE HE DID THE ASKING.

Even though this statement will be 50/50 with regard to acceptance, I would also go so far as to say that he WILL open doors for you. I know it may seem like a small thing, and the feminists of the world will be appalled, but here's the deal: a) a real man is a gentleman, and you only want to marry a gentleman. You know, the kind who opens doors, dresses and grooms appropriately, has table manners, etc, and (THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT), b) a real man will want to open a door for you. If he truly likes you (and if this is your potential husband), he will want to respect you, cherish you, and make you feel special.

If he treats you differently when he is around other people than you, give him the boot. Any guy who belittles a girl or says inappropriate or filthy things about her - either to her face or behind her back - is a jerk. Gone.

Texting is fine, but it should never replace conversation. If you text just fine back and forth, but when you are together, you can find nothing to talk about, there is a problem. The guys you date are test-drives as husbands. When you get married, you will spend the rest of your life with this person; he will be the person with whom you converse the most. If you have nothing to talk about, quit talking to him and find someone new to talk to.

I realize that not everyone will gladly accept or agree with what I have had to say. It's just that if I had to enter the dating fray today, these would be my standards. That said, I am ever-so-thankful I don't need them. I have been married for 24 years to a man who has always respected me in every way. Even after all this time, he still regards me as a prized jewel in his life and treats me as such. All I want is for every girl to have the same experience as I.

And she can. While it's true that cell phones have added a new complication to the dating realm,
it's also true that if it wasn't cell phones, it would be something else. The bottom line still is that both guys and girls have to know themselves well (what's important to them and what they want out of life), know their worth, and live their lives according to standards and values. While technology and terminology will continue to change and evolve, decency and respect are, and should remain, immutable.

To Veer or to Steer? Cruise Control and the Canoe

On Saturday, July 12, Mike and I rented a canoe at Interstate State Park to take a ride down the St. Croix. This particular trip provides two stops – one at Osceola, WI, which is about seven miles down the river. The other is William O’Brien State Park, which is 17 miles down the river. Since this is about the fourth time that Mike and I have toured this river, we decided to go for the “big” ride.

Even though it was an extremely humid day, the weather conditions were fairly ideal since it was overcast. We filled our canoe with our picnic lunch, rain gear (scattered showers were predicted for the afternoon), and the dog, and we were off at around 9 a.m.

Neither Mike nor I are newbs when it comes to canoeing. Prior to marriage, we had each been on canoe trips, and like I said, we have done this trip together a few times.

In the past, any canoeing difficulties we experienced were due control issues. You see, in our separate experiences, we had both been in charge of steering the canoe. True to form, Mike got in the back to “drive” (since he generally drives the car whenever we go somewhere). That’s fine; it just means that the person in front (namely, me) has to paddle.

This is where I have had difficulty.  (This also explains why Mike and I do not dance well together either. We both want to lead. . .and then, there is the problem that he has no rhythm, but that’s beside the point).

When it comes to canoeing, I like to go straight. All the time. When the canoe starts to veer, my first impulse is to straighten it out. In practical terms, that means that I have been known to paddle like a freakazoid in order to get the canoe moving in the “right” direction. The result has also been a stiff neck and sore shoulders, which has sucked the fun out of my canoe experiences.

On Saturday, I was in front again, and Mike was in the back. Due to the excessive rain that we have had this summer, the river was up, and the current was fairly strong. That meant less paddling and less work.

Right away, the canoe started to veer, and my first impulse was to straighten it out. Just about the time that I was ready to dig my paddle into the root-beer-colored water, Mike pulled a hard stroke, and guess what? The canoe straightened out. A minute later, the same thing happened, and Mike repeated the action, and I hadn’t offered a single stroke. As I lay my paddle across my knees, I thought this through.

First, there was no wind. Second, there was a strong current. Third, with one stroke, Mike could keep us on track, and fourth, I WOULD NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BUT RIDE. Why the heck had it taken me so long to figure this out?!

It seems as though canoeing isn’t the only area in which I have been doing things the hard way. The same has been s true of my spiritual life as well.

To explain, when I try to take control, the result is usually negative. Just like excessive paddling is futile and results in pain and stiffness, the same is true when I try to steer the canoe of my life rather than allow God to steer.  When my life starts to veer in a direction and that I don’t like or understand, I jump in to take control.

This is a critical mistake for a couple important reasons. First, I exhaust myself unnecessarily by expending valuable time and energy on actions and thoughts that are detracting me from that which God wants me to focus on.

Second, it is sin. Even if I have good intentions and even if the result will be good, the fact is that I decided in my head and through my actions that I know better than He does. And I don’t. Ever. The problem is a heart condition. Until I completely abandon myself, there is a lack of faith and trust, and that is sin. Period.

Here is what Oswald Chambers has to say about the situation:

“Our Lord’s teaching is always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a man; His purpose is to make a man exactly like Himself, and the characteristic of the Son of God is self-expenditure.

 If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that counts. It is not that God makes us beautifully rounded grapes, but that He squeezes the sweetness out of us. Spiritually, we cannot measure our life by success, but only by what God pours through us, and we cannot measure that at all.

‘Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him’ (John 7: 38). It is time now to break the life, to cease craving for satisfaction, and to spill the thing out.”

As Chambers points out, if we continue to fight to maintain control (which is a delusion, by the way), there is only loss and no gain.

Mike, Juno, and I pulled into William O’Brien at 4:00 p.m. Our 17 mile trek had taken us about a solid seven hours, which is average. Throughout the trip, we lollygagged quite a bit, stopping to have lunch, stretch our legs, explore sandbars, and generally soak up the peace and quiet.

As we pulled in, I was tired but not sore, and I mentioned as much to Mike. “I feel guilty that you did most of the work. You paddled way more than I did.”

His simple response was, “Well, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. You’re the Queen. You’re not supposed to work hard. Just sit in front and enjoy the view.”

It seems to me that same philosophy applies to life as well. “Our Lord is carried beyond Himself with joy when He sees any one of us not relying on this or that economy [or ourselves], but being abandoned to Him” (Chambers). We start living when we quit trying so hard.