Re-thinking the Road Blocks

Yesterday, I went to the doctor to discuss what I called my “geriatric” concerns with her. She laughed at me and said, “You’re only 43.” Well, that may be, but everything I wanted to discuss with her was largely a consequence of aging.

Anyway, the long and short of it of the appointment was this: 1) Cut down on the caffeine, 2) Opt for low-impact exercise such as swimming, water aerobics, and yoga, 3) Go to PT, and if that doesn’t work, get tested for RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis).

While nothing she said was cause for alarm, I did, in any case, feel as though I had hit a wall. . not hard, mind you, but it was enough of a jolt to let me know that there is something blocking my path.  Let me explain.

 Just like 54% of the U.S. population, I enjoy my coffee in the morning. I must confess that I really don’t need it to wake up, nor do I get headaches if I have to skip a day. I just like it because it’s a part of my routine.

Likewise, this habit it a recent acquisition. I didn’t start to drink coffee until I was 40 years, and it was only because I MADE myself start drinking it. In considering how “social” of a drink coffee is, I resolved to learn to drink it, starting on my 40^th birthday. For the next month, I literally choked down one cup per day. Mike laughed at me when my body would involuntarily shutter as I tossed it back. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” he asked.

The answer, of course, was because I had decided. I had set my mind to it, and of course, my pig-headedness won. I am now a coffee drinker. . .but for how long? She told me to “cut back” and “switch to water instead.” Now that Diet Coke and I are no longer in a committed relationship, I thought I was doing pretty good. Guess not.

Then, there is the exercise piece to consider. The doctor said that swimming “massages the muscles and joints” and is “a total body workout” as all of your muscles are engaged. Honestly, the doc did a great job of verbal enticement with her vocabulary choices. However, the fact remains – with swimming or water aerobics- that 1) I must get wet (which is tough to do when it is negative 1,000 degrees outside), and 2) I must wear a swim suit. . .in public. . .where people see me.

I realize that those are just silly objections. The real issue for me is giving up running. The doc didn’t say I had to, but her message was pretty clear – that I need to switch to something a little more friendly to the joints. While I have made it no secret how I feel about running (I HATE IT), running has been a good motivator to me. I have set little goals for myself, and so far, I have been able to achieve them. One of my “bucket list” items was to run some sort of marathon (more realistically, a half). In my mind’s eye, I see a pencil mark begin at the left side of the page, starting to cross that item off.

Right about now, I am starting to sound like a drama queen, but the bottom line is that I DO NOT LIKE TO BE TOLD “NO.” Metaphorically speaking, I have often fancied myself as a sort of Harry Potter against the Argus Filches of the world. Whenever I have encountered a road block, my mentality has always been, “Oh, yeah, well, I’ll show you,” and I have worked hard (and usually succeeded) in finding a way through or around the road block. Now, however, I believe I met my Minerva McGonagall in the form of middle age.

According to society’s definition, middle age does not begin until one turns 53, but who are we kidding? How many people do you know who live to be 106? The truth is that middle age begins when one starts losing more than s/he gains. Even so, there is no reason to get one’s undies in a bunch about it.

Middle age is a mind-set more than anything. We Americans are very individualistic and independent, and we love labels. We are always striving, whether publically or privately to be an –er or an –est (thinner, fastest, kindest, etc). We like to put ourselves in boxes and/or categories. I am no different. If I allow myself to think that I am washed up because I am entering a new phase of life called middle age, then I will be washed up. It’s a mental choice more than a physical one. In its most basic sense, it means that some previously-established goals are now going to be revised and/or replaced with new ones. Although it sounds cliché, that is, in fact, life.

We are on Week Three of a sermon series called Following Jesus. . .Discovering God! Last week’s sermon was called “The Spirit of Obedience.” Essentially, the pastor has been considering Christ’s final words to his disciples before He left the Earth (John 14) and how we disciples, in today’s age, have an advantage over the original disciples.

For followers of Jesus who want to discover God, the process is very simple and difficult at the same time: obedience. You read His Word, you talk to Him, you listen to what He says, and you do it. Period. There are literally no “buts.” There are no excuses. There is no doing it my way when I want to do it. There is only obedience.

Obedience is a distasteful word to most people as it has largely negative connotations. It involves giving in. It involves giving up our individuality (preferences, timeline, goals). However, the pastor re-framed the word, obedience, for me on Sunday. Rather than give the word reactive qualities; it described it proactively.

To explain, he asked us to think about when we first fell in love with our spouses. S/he was all we could think about. Likewise, our actions toward our spouses were all about pleasing him/her because of our love for him/her. Sometimes, that meant (and still does mean) that we put aside our own desires and preferences in order to please our spouses.

The feeling of falling in love with our spouses is what our relationship with God should look like. We think about Him all the time. Because we love Him so much, we want to please Him, which means putting aside our own preferences, desires, and goals to do what He wants.

Obedience is not punishment; it is a way we show love.  

Thus, success is to be found in re-thinking the road blocks. Rather than plow through them, as I have made it my self-imposed mission throughout life, I need to examine why they are there. If I hit a road block due to my own negligence, then the road block is a consequence. Even so, the failure is not finality; it is a hard, yet poignant, lesson – one which I should take heed in order to avoid it in the future. In any case, if I hit a road block, it is for a reason; I need to step outside the bubble and consider why I may have hit the road block.

So while some of my new concerns may feel like a loss, they are actually gains. I have been an individualistic, independent cuss for far too long, and it’s time to relinquish some control and see where the road goes next. “Every element of self-reliance must be slain by the power of God. Complete weakness and dependence will always be the occasion for the Spirit of God to manifest His power” (Oswald Chambers).