"Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4
Somewhere along the line, I decided (or maybe it was decided for me) that I was going to focus on God's Promises. I probably read something in my devotions that made me think of it. Anyway, I came across a web-site that listed them, and this is one that caught my eye.
Recently, I started reading about the purpose of prayer in my "big book" of Oswald Chambers. He talked about the purpose of prayer is to get to know God better.
For most of my life, I have regarded prayer as almost a grocery list. Yes, I have purposely started the prayer in showing gratitude to God and praising Him for who He is, but then, I would launch off into my laundry list of concerns - listing those on my heart as well as the reasons why they are concerning to me.
After reading Chambers's comments, I started thinking about my prayers, and it dawned on me that I have spent the bulk of my prayer life in telling God what I wanted. In essence, I have been telling God what to do, trying to direct His action to where and what I thought needed to be done.
God does not need my help or advice. Not at all. He already knows what everybody needs. He already knows how the story ends. He has already planned the perfect ending. What have I been thinking - trying to tell the God of the Universe how He should run His rodeo. The presumption. What I have always regarded as piety and faith is nothing of the sort. It's the exact opposite. In my conversation, I have been sending Him the message that I know better than He how to take care of business.
He has been most patient with me, enduring my adolescent prayer approach. I imagine Him smiling indulgently at me, as one does with a three-year-old who is telling a story.
Three year olds often drone on and on, adding far more details than are necessary. They often go off on tangents, even forgetting the original purpose and direction of the story. The child is oblivious; s/he is caught in his/her own world. Self-absorbed, the child lacks the wherewithal to pick up on the non-verbal cues from the listener. Meanwhile, the listener starts amused, but grows increasing annoyed.
I don't think God has been annoyed with me. I think He is appreciative of the fact that I want to spend time with Him at all. But I would imagine He is a little sad that I don't "get it." I mean, come on. I'm fifty. I should have figured out by now what prayer is and what God wants it to be.
Anyway, after thinking about it, I tried a new approach on Friday. Rather than launch off into my please-God list, I just repeated "God is Sovereign" over and over and imagined all the different ways and places in which He is sovereign.
I can't remember the last time I felt such peace. Seriously. I was in a place that I did not want to leave. I was content. I felt safe. When I finally roused myself so that I could go to work, I felt a bouyancy in going to work. It's hard to explain.
I think that is the message in the promise. "Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
In the past, I have looked at the word, desires, as in my desires - that which I want, or my "list." But the true desire of my heart is a longing for Him. It is a desire to be in relationship with Him. It is a desire to know and be known. It is a desire to love and be loved. It is a desire for safety, peace, and belonging. It is when I quiet my mind and heart that I find Him.
And that is what prayer is for.
Reading His Word, spending time with Him in prayer, inviting His Holy Spirit, serving Him, moving when He prompts, loving the unlovable, seeking Him in nature. . .all of these are ways for us to grow in Him, to spend time to with Him, to abide in Him.
These are all the ways in which we take delight in Him, and these are all the ways in which He gives us the desires of our hearts.
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