My daughter was in the mood to chat last night, and it’s clear that she is still processing those consequences, which she should, but of course, as her mom I don’t like to see her in pain.
One of those consequences is a broken relationship. While that is a consequence in and of itself, the fact that the person from whom the relationship was severed has presumably shared her perspective on it all with other people.
Further complicating the matter is the fact that both my daughter and this person live in the same town and have mutual acquaintances. It’s a small town. I’m sure you can see where this is all going.
In contemplating all this during my devotional time this morning, I pulled my journal out (yeah, I keep handwritten journals as well) and started writing. One of the reasons why I journal and keep this blog is because it is through writing that God seems to reveal His wisdom to me. Some may think that it’s all just my thoughts and ideas, and I suppose that is a valid claim since my name and handwriting are attached to both, but I am pretty firm in saying that these thoughts are not my own. I wouldn’t come up with them and certaining wouldn’t write about them if God didn’t put them there in the first place.
The answer, of course, is yes.
It’s a matter of character. It means choosing, over and over, to diverge from the popular path and take the high road when others on the road are ganging up and blocking your path.
Here, then, is the next question: Does a person’s character have to change first, or does a series of mindful, purposeful habits create the desired character?
The only empirical evidence and the remedy to people’s misguided notions about us is action, specifically kind actions. The kindness has to be genuine, which alludes to the fact that a person’s true character has to be addressed. But does character have to be first? Of course, that would be preferred, but I think character is shaped by our habits as well.
Kindness can be a habit first, I believe. It’s a choice; then it becomes a mindset and ultimately a way of life. In my experience, I can attest that it is definitely impossible for people to be or remain angry, be negative toward, or spread rumors about someone who is kind to them. That is a fact. You can’t control what people do or say; you can only control yourself. And when you are kind, the acid inside them toward you, becomes alkaline.
That is certainly my modus operandi at work. As I have relayed in previous posts, my current position is stressful for a variety of reasons, one of which is that it has created a different working dynamic between my colleagues and me. No matter what I perceive, or think I perceive, about my colleagues’ opinions of me and this job at work, I know that the best antidote to it all (the negative perceptions and the real feelings) is consistent, patient kindness.
That’s the advice that I passed along to my daughter this morning. The ball is in her court now. While it’s true that people may be mean, I can also attest to the fact that most people have a soft spot for underdogs. Given the slightest bit of encouragement and hope, those who were once our biggest slanderers can become our biggest supporters in a blink of an eye.
“Remember there is no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” Scott Adams
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