On Saturday, July 12, Mike and I rented a canoe at
Interstate State Park to take a ride down the St. Croix. This particular trip
provides two stops – one at Osceola, WI, which is about seven miles down the
river. The other is William O’Brien State Park, which is 17 miles down the
river. Since this is about the fourth time that Mike and I have toured this
river, we decided to go for the “big” ride.
Even though it was an extremely humid day, the weather
conditions were fairly ideal since it was overcast. We filled our canoe with
our picnic lunch, rain gear (scattered showers were predicted for the
afternoon), and the dog, and we were off at around 9 a.m.
Neither Mike nor I are newbs when it comes to canoeing.
Prior to marriage, we had each been on canoe trips, and like I said, we have
done this trip together a few times.
In the past, any canoeing difficulties we experienced were
due control issues. You see, in our separate experiences, we had both been in
charge of steering the canoe. True to form, Mike got in the back to “drive”
(since he generally drives the car whenever we go somewhere). That’s fine; it
just means that the person in front (namely, me) has to paddle.
This is where I have had difficulty. (This also explains why Mike and I do not
dance well together either. We both want to lead. . .and then, there is the
problem that he has no rhythm, but that’s beside the point).
When it comes to canoeing, I like to go straight. All the
time. When the canoe starts to veer, my first impulse is to straighten it out.
In practical terms, that means that I have been known to paddle like a
freakazoid in order to get the canoe moving in the “right” direction. The
result has also been a stiff neck and sore shoulders, which has sucked the fun
out of my canoe experiences.
On Saturday, I was in front again, and Mike was in the back.
Due to the excessive rain that we have had this summer, the river was up, and
the current was fairly strong. That meant less paddling and less work.
Right away, the canoe started to veer, and my first impulse
was to straighten it out. Just about the time that I was ready to dig my paddle
into the root-beer-colored water, Mike pulled a hard stroke, and guess what?
The canoe straightened out. A minute later, the same thing happened, and Mike repeated
the action, and I hadn’t offered a single stroke. As I lay my paddle across my
knees, I thought this through.
First, there was no wind. Second, there was a strong
current. Third, with one stroke, Mike could keep us on track, and fourth, I
WOULD NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BUT RIDE. Why the heck had it taken me so long to
figure this out?!
It seems as though canoeing isn’t the only area in which I
have been doing things the hard way. The same has been s true of my spiritual
life as well.
To explain, when I try to take control, the result is
usually negative. Just like excessive paddling is futile and results in pain
and stiffness, the same is true when I try to steer the canoe of my life rather
than allow God to steer. When my life
starts to veer in a direction and that I don’t like or understand, I jump in to
take control.
This is a critical mistake for a couple important reasons.
First, I exhaust myself unnecessarily by expending valuable time and energy on
actions and thoughts that are detracting me from that which God wants me to
focus on.
Second, it is sin. Even if I have good intentions and even
if the result will be good, the fact is that I decided in my head and through
my actions that I know better than He does. And I don’t. Ever. The problem is a
heart condition. Until I completely abandon myself, there is a lack of faith
and trust, and that is sin. Period.
Here is what Oswald Chambers has to say about the situation:
“Our Lord’s teaching is always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a man;
His purpose is to make a man exactly like Himself, and the characteristic of
the Son of God is self-expenditure.
If we believe in
Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that counts. It is
not that God makes us beautifully rounded grapes, but that He squeezes the
sweetness out of us. Spiritually, we cannot measure our life by success, but
only by what God pours through us, and we cannot measure that at all.
‘Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, streams
of living water will flow from within him’ (John 7: 38). It is time now to
break the life, to cease craving for satisfaction, and to spill the thing out.”
As Chambers points out, if we continue to fight to maintain
control (which is a delusion, by the way), there is only loss and no gain.
Mike, Juno, and I pulled into William O’Brien at 4:00 p.m.
Our 17 mile trek had taken us about a solid seven hours, which is average.
Throughout the trip, we lollygagged quite a bit, stopping to have lunch, stretch
our legs, explore sandbars, and generally soak up the peace and quiet.
As we pulled in, I was tired but not sore, and I mentioned
as much to Mike. “I feel guilty that you did most of the work. You paddled way
more than I did.”
His simple response was, “Well, that’s the way it’s supposed
to be. You’re the Queen. You’re not supposed to work hard. Just sit in front
and enjoy the view.”
It seems to me that same philosophy applies to life as well.
“Our Lord is carried beyond Himself with joy when He sees any one of us not
relying on this or that economy [or ourselves], but being abandoned to Him”
(Chambers). We start living when we quit trying so hard.
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