As soon as we got to the landing, however, I was ready to leave.
It smelled like sewage. I am not even kidding. Apparently, it's a pretty weedy lake, and after a recent wind, a large pile of seaweed had collected along the shore. Combined with the sun and heat, the piles were pretty ripe.
Mike persisted (although, I did notice that he didn't jump in to unhook the boat as he usually does), and we were off. The water was a pea soup green, and everywhere we looked, there were weeds. At times, the motor struggled a bit due to getting wrapped up in the green gook.
We dropped our lines and waited. . .and waited. . .and waited. Neither one of us had a single bite. We watched plenty of fish go by, large rough fish, that is, and carp would jump out of the water on a regular basis. Likewise, we noticed that we were, in fact, the ONLY ones on the lake.
Grossed out, we finally left. Once the boat was out of the water, we spent the next 10 minutes pulling weeds off the boat and trailer. We agreed that this was going to be a one-time experience. That lake was a hopeless cause.
A few minutes later, we dropped the boat into one of our favorite spots. The water was clear, and the air smelled clean.
In spite of the wind, the lake was well-populated with boats and pontoons. Everywhere we looked, people were in or on the water, laughing and having a good time. Due to the heavy traffic, we knew that our plans for fishing were going to have to change. Nevertheless, we enjoyed a peaceful boat ride anyway.
So what does my pointless fish story have to do with anything? Well, it reminds me of church.
People just don't want to go to church anymore. In fact, if you bring up the topic with some, they get ornery and hostile at the mention of it. After trolling the internet for statistics, it seems the only ones who are going with regularity are people over 65 (60%). The next closest group are people with kids (on the Sundays when their kids don't have a scheduled activity). The worst? 18-30 year olds at about a third (28%). And just for fun. . . more women than men go to church.
Why don't people want to go to church? And what does this have to do with the fish story?
Even though I have no hard data to offer, here are various reasons that I have heard in the past:
I don't believe that God exists. That's just a fairy tale.
The people at churches are too judgmental and cliquey.
The people at church are such hypocrites.
I'm too busy. My family/I need one day off a week to relax and be together.
It's boring and irrelevant.
That's a pretty tough list, especially since, in some cases, those are justifiable claims. Since 83% of Americans claim to be Christians, is the concept of church even necessary?
Apparently, God thinks so. It's not one of the Ten Commandments, and it's not in the Great Commandment, but it is an expectation of a Christ-centered life. While there are many verses that address the idea, I John 1:7 seems to sum it up best: "But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin." It's a package deal by choice. With Christ at the root of our existence, we will want to meet with others to worship God and encourage one another.
Ok, so what's the problem?
Well, let me ask a counter question. When a person is fishing, and the fish aren't biting, the problem is clear. The question is whose problem is it? The fish don't want to bite, and they don't have to, but if a fisherman wants to be successful, s/he has to find the right bait.
The same is true of the church. In Matthew 4:19, Jesus said, "Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men." While the comical maxim, " A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work," is true for the church as well, the fact is churches are floundering because the fishermen are using the wrong bait and/or are choosing "easy" lakes to fish.
In his book, The Church of Irresistible Influence, Robert Lewis states that today's church resembles a basketball camp. "With all the difficult and sometimes tedious focus on training, skill development, conditioning, and position selection, we never actually play the game. In all our activity and hard work, we have missed the bigger picture. . .becoming salt and light in a needy and searching world."
Worse, Lewis continues, the church has become "a refuge from the world, a sort of Christian country "club" that has exhausted itself in trying to keep its members happy" and as a result, excluding others (not physically, but socially) from the club.
That said, let's revisit the reasons why people don't want to come to church and dissect them a bit.
1) I don't believe that God exists. That's just a fairy tale.
The only way to address this statement is to prove His existence, but how do we, as believers, do that? We have to believe He exists by faith. It's not like God is a tangible being that a person can touch, see, and talk to?
Baloney.
God IS real and tangible. His existence is proven every day in myriad ways, and it's up to us to show others. God is always at work and moving. All the time. He answers prayer. He opens windows when doors close. Each of us has a story to tell to attest to that fact. Our lives are continuous testimonies, waiting to be shared.
If you claim to be a Christian but cannot think of a single story to share in which God has revealed himself and/or changed your life in some way, then you better start paying attention, opening your eyes and heart.
If you claim to be a Christian but clam up when the opportunity to testify concerning God and what He has done arises, then you better reread Matthew 5:13-16 and pray for courage to fulfill your mission as a Christ follower.
It's our job to show people that God is not make-believe, but there is a happy ending to this story.
2. The people at churches are too judgmental and cliquey.
A recent fad in today's church has been the concept of small group ministry. In theory, it sounds like a great idea - members keeping track of each other, encouraging each other, challenging each other and being accountability partners. And all of that is true. . .for those who are lucky enough to be in a small group.
But what about those who aren't in one? Sure, churches invite. . .from the pulpit. . .by offering a contact person. Likewise, most small groups claim to be open, but the fact is that many of these small groups, over time, turn to cliquey social Jesus clubs. In short, most small groups are not functioning the way they were intended.
For example, after surveying small group participants, "we discovered that after four to five years of involvement in the small group ministry that is central to our church, people began to feel unchallenged and stifled. . .they had always been told that they were to be 'equipped,' but the data raised a greater question: 'Equipped for what?'" (Lewis)
Put yourself into the position of a person entering your church for the first time. It's like starting a brand-new school in a brand-new city. You need a friendly face - someone to make you feel welcome, someone to sit with, calm your nerves, show you where everything is.
And that's the procedure for someone who is brave enough, on his/her own to enter the church.
To be a true "fisher of men" means that the fisherman has to be willing to traverse the lakes that everyone has rejected or avoided. S/he has to look beyond the weeds, smell, etc (undesirable or physical circumstances) and use the right bait, which are the Fruits of the Spirit. Sure, the clear, heavily-populated lakes are generally preferable because there is a better yield with less effort. However, In considering how Christ spent his 33 years on earth, it seems as though none of us have a single excuse to avoid those lakes. Not for a single second do we get the luxury to say, "That's just not my gift," or "I would rather not."
As Oswald Chambers says, "Ministering as opportunity surrounds us does not mean selecting our surroundings. It means being very selectly God's in any haphazard surroundings which He engineers for us."
3. People at church are such hypocrites.
Yes, they can be. This is true for any and everybody, but Christians, especially, are raked over the coals for this one. For whatever reason, people have decided that Christianity equals moral perfection. Once a person gets well-acquainted with Romans, s/he figures out quickly that we are all in the same boat called the Titanic, and God has reserved a life boat just for us. Until that happens, we are dealing with an identity crisis.
So how do we as well as churches do that?
A) Be real. Be transparent.
No one is more adept at sniffing out a fake than a teenager. And once they detect a fake, they are merciless. The same can be said of unbelievers and Christians.
We are to share our testimonies, warts and all. That's how we show the transforming power of a relationship with Christ. If we keep secrets or avoid the hard topics, we are sending a clearer message than the truth would be. It does not mean we wear our issues and struggles as a badge of dishonor, shoving them on whomever gives us an ear. It means sharing them in appropriate, God-engineered situations for His purposes.
"Watch the kind of people God brings around you, and you will be humiliated to find out that this is His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him. Now, he says, exhibit to that one exactly what I have shown to you" (Chambers).
B) Model forgiveness and selflessness.
You can talk until you are blue in the face. It only matters what you do.
Yesterday's devotional passage was John 13: "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them" (15-17).
Today's was Matthew 20: 26-7 "Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant and whoever wants to be first must be your slave."
God seems clear about how this should work. Dissension in the church occurs when people focus on and worry about personal agendas vs humility and servanthood. Why would anyone want to go to or join a church when it's no different than what they see on a daily basis in the secular world?
C) Love the sinner; hate the sin.
"Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. All men will know that you are my disciples if you love one another." John 13: 34-5
"Love The Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22: 37-40
God first. People second. Period. He takes care of all the details.
4. I'm too busy. My family/I need one day off a week to relax and be together.
When I was at a women's retreat years ago, the speaker had a fitting acronym for the word, busy:
Being
Under
Satan's
Yoke
It's true that American families are overbooked these days. That's a cultural attitude that has become a reality. It's also true that it's one of Satan's ways to keep families away from church. The question for churches then is how to make church an invaluable, non-negotiable part of a family schedule. Once that happens, the idea is that eventually a family's priorities will change.
Again, the issue at hand is just like fishing. The pressure is on the fisherman to use the right bait.
Churches need to seriously consider these questions: Why should anyone or any family go to this church? What are the obstacles that might prevent a family from coming to this church and how to we address them?
While those are big picture questions to address, the bottom line is that each member has to take responsibility. It's not the church's responsibility to invite; it's the member's responsibility. A person will be more apt to try out a church, an activity, a small group. . .if personally asked. . .and asked repeatedly. . .after some sort of relationship has been cultivated.
It requires time and effort, and if you are a Christian and say you are too busy, go to #4, read, and repeat as necessary.
5. It's boring and irrelevant.
This one is tricky. There is a fine line between a church understanding the current culture and the people who live in that culture without adapting to it.
Robert Lewis discussed "cultural relevancy" in The Church of Irresistible Influence: "According to this strategy, churches can best address their receding influence through contemporary repackaging. Unfortunately, this strategy often goes too far. It becomes relevance at the expense of substance. In many contemporary churches, believers no longer carry Bibles. Worshipers seek an experience with God minus the commitment. Therapy replaces morality. Entertainment crowds out the cross. Is it maturity we are after, or the "feel good"? 'These new paradigm churches,' David Wells says, 'appear to be succeeding not because they are offering an alternative to modern culture, but because they are speaking with its voice and mimicking its moves.'"
To me, this issue resembles raising a kid, specifically a teenager. In order to effectively parent and/or mentor that teenager, you have to have a basic understanding of what kids' lives are like - what they are talking about, thinking about, doing, who they are hanging around, what is important to them, etc. It's not that you adapt your values or discipline to reflect that culture; it's that you understand where they are coming from so that you can try to empathize and be appropriately compassionate as the situation demands.
That said, there is no one-size-fits-all approach for any given church. All sorts of demographics play into that equation, but it definitely means addressing any cultural obstacles that might prevent someone from attending church. One radical idea might just be eliminating the word, "church," from the title. People are sometimes intimidated or have a negative reaction in just seeing that word. Scum of the Earth is the title of both a church in Denver, CO, and its sister church in Seattle, WA. Although controversial, the name was chosen to reflect the fact that they are a church "for the left out and right-brained." They have moved three times due to growth.
For the less radical, a possible starting point might be Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. First, are the physiological needs being met (food, shelter)? There is one church in the town in which I live that is particularly good at meeting the basic needs of the city's residents. Not coincidentally, it is also the biggest church in town.
Secondly, is the need to belong being fulfilled? A cultural fact is that many people in the world today do not know what a healthy family looks like. The basic nuclear family unit seems to be of another era. Popular culture (movies, music, etc) attest to the fact that people ALL long to be loved and accepted. The church is a safe and appropriate place for people to learn what loving and healthy relationships look like in Christ-centered environment.
In a culture where the concept of "self" is king, churches need to patiently model selflessness, humility, and servanthood. In the end, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5: 13-16)
"If the church functions with any other design than that of a bridge, it dooms itself. Our hard work over time will sink into the cold waters or irrelevancy, frustration, and despair. Great, charismatic preaching will drown in isolated, self-absorbed hearts. Innovation and cutting-edge technology without a new vision will become like a pile of rusted saltwater shipwreck" (Lewis).
As you start fishing, use the right bait:
Be God's
Be a good listener
Be real
Be loving
Be available
". . .do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you" (Matthew 10: 19)
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