What If History Was Not Only His Story, But Hers Too?

One of my Facebook friends recently posted the photo below on her wall. After I thought about it for a while, I decided that a wise choice might be by Grandpa B. He died when I was ten years old, so I don’t remember him well. My parents, especially my dad, always tell me that he was quite exceptional. Grandpa B. is probably the only man for whom my dad, still to this day, has admiration and respect.

The interesting thing is that my immediate reaction to this question was one word: Grandma.

Both of my grandmas are now gone. One passed in 1989, and the other a little over a year ago. In fact, today would have been my Grandma B’s 89^th birthday.

My grandmas were as different as night and day; one was all sharp edges – outspoken and opinionated – while the other was soft and comforting – like a really good pillow. One modeled spiritual habits while the other modeled the fruits of those habits. Each has left her thumbprint on my life.

That’s not to say, however, that they are the only ones who have done so.

In my college-prep class, we complete an assignment called Walking Journals. I say, “we,” because I am included in these journals as well. A student picks a topic, and everyone in the writing group responds to it, including me. Each year, a student will inevitably ask, “Who is your role model?”

My response to this question is no one. There is not one single person who has influenced my life. Since no one is perfect, that would be a tall order. There are, however, qualities and characteristics that I have admired and tried to replicate in my own life. Therefore, my list of role models is endless. . .and wouldn’t you know the list is almost all women.

Historically, women have been given the shaft. Of course, that’s mostly because history has been recorded by men. No, this isn’t a feminist battle cry. It’s just the truth. Since women have been regarded historically as second-class citizens, it’s not surprising that the great authors, philosophers, and theologians have all been men. Their words, thoughts, and ideas have shaped generations and countries. No one cared, or at least bothered to record, any wise woman’s viewpoints or opinions on the same matters.

And in my opinion, that’s a travesty.

At the risk of sounding sexist, men generally can only focus on one task at a time. Therefore, I don’t think it’s a supreme stretch to assume that they typically focus on one issue, problem, or topic at a time. Women, however, are generally multi-taskers by nature.

Likewise, a woman’s priority generally is making connections. Years ago, in order to complete a Speech minor, I read a book by Deborah Tannen called You Just Don’t Understand in which male and female communication was discussed. According to Tannen’s research, when two women meet, they generally look for ways in which their lives intersect (Ex. Oh, you went to WHS? I have a cousin named ___ who graduated from there. Do you know her?). The priority is to establish a connection. Men, on the other hand, have a different priority. According to Tannen, when two men meet, they try to establish dominance (Ex. Oh, you’re from WHS? Our basketball team beat yours when I was in high school). Rather than connection, it’s about competition.

Because of her priority tends toward finding common ground versus competing, a woman (in my opinion) tends to be better about attending to detail, considering the “back story,” and assessing motivation. If she is a mother, the previous sentence describes her daily life! To be fair, I know some men who are very good at doing this too.

With these skills and abilities in mind, just think of what women could have brought to the decision-making table with Julius Caesar, George Washington, and Winston Churchill in history. Imagine the books of wisdom and philosophy that could have been written and recorded alongside Socrates, Thomas Aquinas, and C. S. Lewis. For good or for ill, it would have been nice to be able to hear the female perspective.

For example, at the risk of sounding blasphemous, I would love to hear/read Rahab’s explanation of her decision to help Caleb and Joshua. The hooker-turned-hero who later was in the lineage of Christ risked it all for these two – why? I want to hear her perspective. Or, how about Ruth? After her husband died, she had the option to go home, but she stayed with her mother-in-law. Why and how did that seem like a good idea? I want to hear her story in her own words.

Then, there are all the nameless and faceless women in history whose influence was felt but whose voice was never heard. These women include the first Pilgrim women to hop the Mayflower, the pioneer women raising crops and a family on the prairie, and the mothers who stepped into the gas chamber with their children during WWII. Their words, thoughts, and ideas could have shaped generations and countries.

All that said, a woman’s place in history is still evident even though it is not as public or historically conspicuous.  She has been a confidante, an advisor, and at times, an enforcer.  Historically, we know of Eleanor Roosevelt and Queen Esther in these capacities. Think of how many whose stories we haven’t heard. Likewise, a woman’s choices and demeanor have influenced generations. I read somewhere that in a soldier’s final moments, he typically asks about or for his mother. Thus, it cannot be denied that a woman’s influence is everywhere.

That’s why I am more intent on focusing on positive qualities and characteristics than people when it comes to role models. Those characteristics influence what comes out of my mouth and what I do, which inevitably and ultimately influences a generation. I guess, after all, that living, breathing testimony trumps any written word on a page every day of the week.