Red Light; Green Light

"Not that I have already obtained this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

Ever since we returned from Christmas break, I noticed that one of my seniors had not been acting herself.  Normally bubbly and smiley, this person had been lethargic, withdrawn, and showing signs of depression (the two previous symptoms as well as not grooming as usual).  In short, it caused me concern. 

I knew she was a believer because she had been very open about her faith, and we had talked both privately and publically about our faiths, sharing Bible insights, etc.  So, one day after class, I pulled her aside and asked her if something was up.

She confessed that she had been struggling.  Long story short, she had only planned to be a student at WHS for half the year; then, she planned to return to her high school in the Cities so that she could take a particular art class and graduate with her former friends.  Apparently, the plan was being altered, and she was struggling with that idea.  She felt as though God had called her out here to the prairie, and she thought that she had fulfilled her obedience so that she could not return to her previous situation.  In short, she felt like a failure, and that is the exact word she used before hanging her head.

On the morning that we had this conversation, I had read Philippians 3: 12-14 for my morning devotions, and these verses came to mind as I was chatting with her.  I asked her to stop a minute and look at the situation a different way.  Yup, she had been obedient to God's calling and had traveled out to Willmar, MN, and yup, the plan had originally been for her to only be here for half a year. . .but that was her plan.  What if God had a different plan?  What is God wasn't through using her at WHS?  What if there was still someone she was supposed to me or some other purpose she was supposed to serve?  What happened if she changed her perspective from the current situation as being a failure to being a work in progress?  That got her to thinking, and we went our separate ways.

One of my favorite scenes from the Lion King is when a grown Simba is feeling sorry for himself, explaining to Rafiki that he can't return because "the past is the past;" nothing can change.  When Rafiki whacks him over the head, a stunned Simba says, "Whadja do that for?"  Rafiki responds by saying, "It doesn't matter.  The past is the past."  As his head throbs, a new realization permeates Simba's skull.  Yup, the past is the past, but that doesn't mean it doesn't matter.

The things that have happened to us in the past always define us.  That's where character is developed - through the joy, struggle, pain, and success of whatever comes across our path.  As I was pushing a cart down the hall the other day, the song lyrics, "I want to be a millionaire so stinking bad" popped into my head, and I started singing them.  Then, I actually started  thinking about what I was saying, and I stopped.  I have no desire to be a millionaire because then I would have more than I needed.  I could pay off my house, I could quit my job, I could do whatever I wanted.  It sounds enticing, but real life occurs in the day-to-day struggle. . .in the planning, hoping, and dreaming.  If you take that all away, what happens to character development? 

And yet, what happens does not need to cripple us.  I believe that God allows things to happen, both good and bad, because each and every thing that happens is necessary in order to develop the character He has ordained for me to have.  I believe He knows how I will choose in any given situation, and He knows exactly how to use that choice for His glory.  It's a delicate game of ping-pong, I guess, or maybe Red-Light-Green-Light.  So, even though something doesn't go the way that I planned it does not mean it's a failure.  Apparently, I had experience that situation as a pre-cursor for another step that leads me to the place where He ultimately wants to be.  Like almost everything in life, it's a matter of perspective.

God does not intend for us to forget the past.  Every hurt and joy is necessary in order to lead us to new place in our spiritual growth.  But we must not allow the past to chain us or restrain us from seeking God's Will.  If we do, we have chosen selfishness; we have decided that we, our comfort, our satisfaction, our measly physical lives, are more important that God and His Plan.

As it explains in the verse in Philippians, we need to keep our eyes on the prize and run as fast as we can. . .not away from the goal, but toward it, which is whatever God determines "it" to be.  If you could, please pray for peace for Miss Jessica, my student.