Thoughts on 50+

There are some false assumptions about 50+ year olds that have been on my mind. 

One assumption is that we have found the lifetime career of choice, have no interest in changing that career, and are just waiting to retire.  In the world of work, it often feels as though age is more of a liability than an asset. 

Nothing could be further from the truth.  

In my 50s, I am taking stock of what I like and what I don't like - something I have never had the time or bravery to do.  I am taking stock of what I'm willing to do and try, and what I'm fine to let pass by or out-and-out reject.  

When a person is young and/or in the thick of raising kids, you tend to be self-conscious about just about everything: Work performance, child-rearing, appearance etc.  Either that, or you are too busy trying to please or prove your value, and/or are just too busy to think about what you want. 

Finally, in your 50s, you have the opportunity to take a breath and really consider what brings you joy and want you actually want out of life, or even just a day.  

The irony is that the world puts up a hand and says, "Whoa, there.  Don't get too big for your britches.  You're a ______ (whatever they have decided you are). Just stay in your lane, take it easy, and soon, you can retire."  

Like, retirement is the ultimate golden ticket? Maybe it is; I'm not there yet, so I don't know.  But I know that even when I "retire," I won't retire.  I will just stop doing THAT and do something else.  I like to work.  I find meaning, purpose and fulfillment in working, even if it's just cleaning out a drawer.  

Dismissing 50+ people like me is a mistake.  People in this age bracket have an incredible work ethic (and I am NOT saying that under 50s don't). There are a lot of reasons for that, but suffice it to say, we go the extra mile. Likewise, 50+ have a lot to bring to the table: knowledge, skill, and experience. While this is good, it also means that, as a result, I am pretty vocal about what's on the table, what I'm asked to do at the table, and how long I am expected to be at the table.  This makes me unpopular at times.  In my 20s, I was more willing to shut up, put up, and be wrung dry so that I could please employers and keep a job that I thought would somehow go away.  Age and experience has made me wiser (and mouthier). 

Another assumption is that we have our friend groups, routines, and habits established, and therefore, are not interested in anything new.  Again, this is a false assumption.  While it's true that we have carefully curated friendships/relationships (because we now know what we want and value in relationship), to assume that we have closed the door to socialization is false.  

For example, an erroneous assumption is that the church you started attending and relationships you established in your 20s and 30s is your church for life.  While it may be true for some, it is not true for everyone. If you are a 50 something walking into a new church, you need nerves of steel.  First, most programming is geared toward families and kids, and rightfully so.  I support that 100%. Raising kids, growing a young marriage/family, and surrounding your kids/family with Godly-values and influences is super-important.  For a 50 something, however, it's a tough landscape to navigate.  Most friendships have been long-established and set. If you're an extrovert, you inwardly tell yourself, "Challenge accepted," but for an introvert, it can be daunting and difficult. 

All right. . .that's enough about assumptions.  Here are some facts about people who are 50+ (feel free to dispute or add to): 

1. We have dreams, as we always have.  Dreams are not just for the young.  These days, we reevaluate previous dreams in terms of "Is this still important to me?" and "What is the likelihood this will happen, and am I ok if it doesn't?" We consider new dreams and ask, "Ok, what are the steps I need to do to make this happen?" If anything, our dreams have more shape and definition than they ever have, since we have a clear and realistic focus/target.

2. We are a career goldmine.  Not only do we have refined skills of both depth and breadth; we have experience to go with it.  We have both common sense and wisdom.  Employers would be stupid to dismiss us.

3. We say yes just as much, if not more, than we say no.  We are no longer (or less) encumbered by the self-consciousness and self-doubt or frenetic lifestyle of the 20s, 30s, and 40s.  So we say yes - a lot.  If we say no, there is usually a damn good reason, and you best be paying attention to the why.

4. We generally want to meet new people and try new things.  Likewise, we are learning all the time. Fifty plus is a time in which we get to try all the things we never had time for before. We have a firmer grasp on what we value and what we consider to be non-negotiables, both in people and activities.  We know what hills we are willing to die on and what to let go by. Likewise, we understand and listen to our bodies better  - we know what we can and should do, and we have a realistic idea of our limitations. In short, we now choose instead of are told what to choose.

5.   We get discounts now.  That's pretty baller.