That last sentence may have triggered an inaudible gasp from the reader, or s/he may be clucking his/her tongue in reaction to my presumed lack of faith.
Let me first say (with no judgment or malice) that Christians struggle too. In fact, I would say that we struggle more at times because the Enemy sees us, and any advancements we make in our relationships with Christ, as enemies, which I believe causes him to apply a full-court press. He wants to move us backward, and abandon Christ altogether, which, I'll be frank here, Satan, it ain't happenin.' Now, more than ever before, I spend time in the Word, pray, read, and study.
But I still struggle.
Case in point: I don't sleep well. I just don't. Ever since all this started, I awaken several times per night. It used to be once. Now, I'm up to two or three. I know that it is at these times that I am most vulnerable, and Satan knows it. I try to be prepared, but in my groggy state, I often fail and get sucked into despair and illogical thought. Last night, I had a series of dreams regarding these people, and each left me feeling angry and afraid.
On Sunday, Vince Miller from the organization, Resolute, was at church to deliver a Father's Day message/challenge, but of course, the message was not only for men. (Here is the link to the message if you would like to listen for yourself; it's worth your time.) Miller challenged us to read Colossians 3 every day for a month, so that is what I have been doing.
Today, verses 12-14 stuck with me: 'Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Above all these virtues, put on love, which binds all these together in a perfect unity."
The line that jumps out at me is "Bear with one another." The rest pesters me too, but that verse is what God wanted me to ponder today. The phrase, "bear with me," means "ride this out with me" in our vernacular. It says, "I will probably annoy the snot out of you, but stick with me. Don't leave me."
English teacher that I am, I went to the dictionary for a precise definition. "Bear" means to carry, transport, convey, support, and hold up. It's a tall order when you're annoyed, but let's be real, God does it with us every single day, and He has, and will, for an eternity.
This verse reminds me of the five with whom I am struggling and is a challenge as to how to deal with them. They are immature and selfish, doing what they think/feel is best, regardless of how it is hurting and affecting others (me). Like everyone else in the world, they are operating via trial and error (or success); however, as is the consequence for all of us, the errors impact more than just their lives/them.
But according to Colossians 3, I am to "bear with them." As is the case with prodigals (and we are all prodigals), they have to find to find out for themselves just how much they don't know, and ultimately what they should know. Until then, I "bear with them."
For how long? Based on Christ's example, I don't think there is a time limit. Even at the very end of His physical life, He was able to "bear with" Judas, knowing full well of the betrayal. He didn't kick Judas out, or "ghost" him, but He also didn't pretend that nothing had happened. He called Judas out in front of the disciples, not condemning or belittling the person but recognizing the sin for what it was.
Likewise, in "bearing with one another," Jesus sought out/supported the undesirables. He knew when people were ready to be "fed" and moved in. How did He know? He paid attention and stayed in close relationship with His Father, who pointed Him in the direction He needed to go.
And when people weren't ready, He gave the disciples permission to move on. Matthew 10:14 "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet."
Even this is still act of "bearing with." Even when people are not receptive or remain hurtful, we are to "bear with them" - patiently waiting (but not putting our lives on hold), avoiding the sin that accompanies frustration and hurt, concentrating our energy where Christ designates. That's not to say we won't be back; it's just not time yet.
As usual, Christ's design is flawless. The line "Bear with one another," precedes the command to forgive, as the two go hand in hand. And if that's not enough, Christ completes the grand slam with the command to apply love, "which binds all these together in perfect unity."
I will admit that I struggle to forgive, particularly when the offenders (and in this case, it's true of four of the five) do not see anything wrong with what they have done or said. That's a bitter pill to swallow. But as can be seen, that which has been swallowed is affecting me only, not them.
It's all character development, people. I'm thankful that God cares so much about me that He wants to develop my character, but I feel as though I am getting more wrong than right with regard to the this current test. As is the case with anything in education, the test is a tool to determine whether or not learning has taken place. Please pray that I get "schooled" sooner rather than later.
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