I Got This

Psalm 34:15 “The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry.”

This was my devotion this morning. 

For the last couple of weeks in church, the pastoral staff has been challenging us to prepare and share one-minute testimonies.  Various people have been sharing these testimonies in church as examples, so good student that I am, I prepared one as well.  

However, this devotion reminded me of a powerful, real God moment that recently humbled me. “Humble” is one of those words that has a largely negative connotation in our current me-first culture, but in this case, humble, or in my case, to be humbled was exactly what I needed. If you have a minute or two, let me tell you what happened.

On January 14, 2018, our daughter, Erika, called from college  She wanted to come home.  School had been going fine, but her current city was too far away. At the conclusion of the call, we all agreed that she was going to come home ASAP.  We just had to tie up the loose ends on her end.  Just. 

That meant that we had to convince the university to let her withdraw without penalty.  We had to find a sub-leaser for the apartment lease she had signed for June, and we had to find a sub-leaser for her current apartment.  

That night, I brought it all before God in prayer, and as usual, I awoke in the middle of night, anxious with worry.  Again, I prayed in the wee hours.  

And in the darkness, I heard Him say - clearly and distinctly - “I got this.”  

Yeah, I know.  It seemed like an odd phrase for the God of the Universe to use as a response, but I tell you, I KNOW it was Him.  I have heard Him speak to me before, and it was the same voice. 

In the ensuing days, the first two issues were resolved fairly quickly and easily.  The third one was a little trickier.  The leasing company was not going to release Erika, and her lease was through May.  And to complicate matters, she was out of money.  January was paid for, but after that, she would need to cough up money pay rent for an apartment she would not be living in.  

Erika’s anxiety was mounting, so I told her about my middle-of-the-night experience with God.  Then, I relayed to her an anecdote I had read in Guidepost magazine about a woman’s answered prayer regarding a coat for her child.  The woman’s purpose in relaying the incident was to encourage readers to pray specific prayers.  

Even as I was narrating this all to Erika, I knew where God was taking me, and I felt a bead of sweat across my hairline.  He wanted me to tell Erika to pray a specific prayer, which, after some hesitation, I did.  

After we hung up, I said, Ok, God, I did what you asked.  Now, the ball is in your court.  Please, please follow-through. 

As the days went on, both Erika and I did what we could to market her apartment: we put ads on Craigslist and on-line social media sites, and kept in almost-daily contact with the leasing company, waiting for a sub-leaser.  We had several inquiries, but nothing seemed to be panning out.  Each day was increasingly discouraging.  The nearer we crept to January 31, the more panicky I became.  

On January 26, I wrote in my journal: This lease business needs to be done today.  I’m trusting that God will follow through on what He told me: I got this. I have been trusting all week, and the window keeps closing. . .I know I’m supposed to rest in Him. “Trying” is not the appropriate word.  It’s either yes or no.  I choose yes. My daughter chooses yes. This is a pivotal moment. God will show her how prayer is answered.  I do NOT want to presume God’s timeline or method, but I am presuming He will be true to what he said.

On January 30, I continued ripping up the worry that was desperately trying to take root inside: He told me, I got this, with regard to the lease issue. I heard it, so I have been working hard on not allowing panic mode to be my choice, but finding that peace is so difficult. I laid the groundwork for Erika too.  I told her to pray specifically.  It seems like a pivotal moment, and I pray (literally) that God will move and close it up.

By January 31, I was so discouraged.  Although I had not given up, I will admit that the flame of faith was barely flickering.  I was so sure that I had heard God’s voice.  Not only had I been wrong about that for myself, but now, I had involved Erika with my mistake as well.  

Then, at 3:00 p.m, I got a call from the leasing company.  A girl had come in, needed a place through May, and had signed the papers to take over Erika’s lease.  Although I was overjoyed, I felt horribly guilty as well. In that moment, I was so humbled by the kindness and provision of my Savior.  I was also reminded that He is God and does what He wants, when He wants - regardless of whatever timelines or dictums I fruitlessly try to impose.  

I wrote in my journal: I feel like such a failure for doubting. I was so angry  with God for dropping the ball, and here He delivered - right on time (His) - just like He said He would. He had told me, I got this, and I doubted Him. This clarifies for me that I did, in fact, hear His voice.  He does what He says He will do. He is on His schedule, not mine.  He honors prayers that are righteous, not selfish.  

Earlier in the week, I was particularly discouraged.  When I got into the car, I heard the song, Miracle, by Unspoken.  When I heard the line, “Don’t you give up on a miracle,” it caught my attention briefly, but I now know this was a message from God to me.  He made me attentive at the exact moment I needed to be.  That’s no coincidence.  Lesson learned - the hard way - as usual. So very grateful, and my challenge now is to spread the word.”

And so, that’s what I’m doing right now. As our family continues to pass through deep waters, I  boldly pray specific prayers.  I now know, firsthand, the power in doing so.  

Please don’t be misled; I am not trying to promote God as a giant Candy Man, who fulfills our every whim.  When our motives, heart, and requests align with His Will, He is faithful to respond. I John 5:14: “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” The answer might not be exactly what we expected (or when!), but it is always better than we could ever have imagined. 

If my testimony encourages you, great, but my message is every bit as much for me, to me. As I continue to pray my way through the difficulties and challenges of life, I know God’s got this.

Psalm 5:3 “In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.”