Saturday, April 5, 2014

Letting It Go: Praying Away the Bitterness and Anger in a Mother's Heart

Lord, the last couple of days have been a challenge.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

It all started on Thursday. While Mike and I were picking up Nick’s desk at the thrift store, Erika got the call she had been waiting for. Christa called to tell her that XXXX XXXXX Bible Camp would not be hiring her this year. The reason she gave was that the ten days for the Alaska trip would be just too long for Erika to be gone from camp . . .which is a lie, Lord. As I found out later, Lord, everyone in this house knew it right away, but it took a couple of hours before anyone dared to mention it out loud. Right now, we are confused as to why Christa would lie like that. Three years ago, when Nick and Luke were working at camp for the first year, they both were gone for a week to CHIC, so her justification does not add up.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3: 5

She is the director of a Bible Camp, Lord. Why did she lie? I am struggling with the lack of integrity. I know that Satan likes to mess with people when they are down, Lord, but right now, the signs and details point to the fact that Erika didn’t get that job because someone or some people in leadership determined that Erika isn’t “Christian” enough. You and I both know, Lord, that her participation with youth group activities has decreased. She has reasons, but no one knows them, Lord, so people start making judgment calls about her spirituality. I know I am drawing conclusions, Lord, that I don’t know to be true, but since more than just I have had the same thought, it seems like a good possibility.

For you bless the godly, Lord; you surround them with your shield of love.” Psalm 5:12

It brings back an old hurt for me, Lord. When I was Erika’s age, the same thing happened to me. I tried out for Carpenter’s Tools. I spent a lot of time in preparing my musical number for the audition. When I was interviewed, I poured my heart and soul out – telling the truth and my most personal thoughts regarding faith. When we got to the end of the interview, I was feeling so good – optimistic and hopeful. Then, I will never forget this, Lord, because it was a knife to my heart. Dave XXXX, the director, said, “I sense that you are struggling with your faith. It seems that you are not right for this group.” But I wasn’t struggling. I knew exactly what I believed. I was so confused by what he said, and as soon as I got clear of the building, I burst into tears – bawled all the way home. His comments cut me to the core. Even now, I remember the depth of the pain – shame, embarrassment – especially after my best friend made the group. Later, in bitterness, I watched as several Carpenter’s Tools members participated in the group – praising Jesus and making a show of their faith – but their lifestyle choices weren’t matching up to what was coming out of their mouths. A couple were sneaking around, drinking, another confided to me that she thought she was pregnant and would I go with her to have a pregnancy test, and yet another did get pregnant and had a baby out of wedlock. And yet, I was the one struggling with my faith? That was such a bitter pill to swallow.

Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” Hebrews 12:15

And so, I was so disappointed when this happened to Erika. I was hoping she could avoid the same pain and situation. Like mother, like daughter.

“The Lord is good, a strong refuge when trouble comes. He is close to those who trust in him.” Nahum 1:7

Even though I had been preparing my head for a rejection from Camp, I didn’t expect the sucker punch the way it landed, Lord. I don’t know why I am taking it so personally, Lord. That’s why I had to go to bed on Thursday night. I didn’t want Erika to see me crying because that would just make her feel worse.

“For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.” Lamentations 3:31-33

I just thought that this was the ticket, Lord. All of the dots seemed to line up. She has been taking an interest in her faith again. That’s huge after what happened at small group – first, Rocky and then Becca chewed her and Cass out and told them not to come back.  That made me mad too – to have to threaten her to go to youth group, then following Nick’s advice and just backing off. When she finally took the initiative to ask to order a devotion book and then apply at Camp, my heart took wings. I thought that Camp would be a place for her to keep the crescendo with regard to her faith.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness.” Zephaniah 3:17

Even as I was tossing and turning, praying with all my might on Thursday, Lord, I asked for you to say something, and you said, “I have something better in mind for her.” I am counting on it, Lord.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine” Isaiah 55:8

And then, Lord, Friday morning, Erika came upstairs and said, “I don’t know why I feel good this morning, Mom, but I do.” Thanks for that, Lord. I know you heard my prayers, and I am pretty sure that Amy was praying for her too.

For where two or three have gathered in my name; I am there in their midst.” Matthew 18:20

That’s when she told me she was probably going to go to the local community college in our town next year. She admitted that she didn’t know what she wanted to do with regard to a future career, and it was too expensive for her to go to XXX, her first choice school. It sounded as though she made herself feel better by saying, “Plus, it’s getting to be too late to apply for housing anyway.” You know how she had her heart set on living in a suite. It’s so sad, Lord.  But, the next thing she said was, “So now, what color do I get to paint the downstairs?” I am thankful, Lord, for the way she is able to shake things off and rebound so easily. She has always been like that. Either that, or she is really good at hiding her feelings. I know she does that too.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” Psalm 139:23

Even though she has to revise her dream, Lord, Cass gets to follow hers. Lord, her Guidance Counselor tweaked her grades so that she can now go to XXX University. She has failed classes, Lord, and gets bad grades, but she gets to go away to school. Her mom and dad will just write the check. And then, there’s Erika, who has worked her tail off to get good grades and has a 3.7 GPA, and she gets stuck living at home, going to community college because she can’t afford anything else. I am happy that things have worked out for Cass, but where is the justice in that for Erika, Lord?

So the Lord must wait for you to come to Him so that he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help.” Isaiah 30:18

And then, Cass just walked in to XXXX, a local business, today, Lord, and she immediately was hired because her mom got her the job. She didn’t have to interview. She didn’t have to fill out any paperwork . . .while Erika has had to work at getting every job she has ever had. She just got crapped on by Camp after filling out a ginormous application and interviewing. Even today, Lord, she got chewed out AGAIN at work for inadvertent mistakes. She has admitted that she hates going to work because she is afraid of her managers. What the heck, Lord? What’s going on?

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” Psalm 37:7

And yet, Lord, you know my nature. Right or wrong, I emailed a couple of other camps to see if there were any positions left. I heard back from two. XXXXXXXX XXXXX has their summer staff positions filled, so they are out. And then, there was an email back from Felicia at XXXXX XXXX. Two positions are open  - janitorial and waterfront. She apologized that there were no counselor positions. I emailed back that Erika would prefer a support staff position anyway. If hope is a thing with feathers, then I felt a light brush across my cheek as it soared in the air. Through a whirlwind process, Erika got excited about the possibility and has applied. Now, we play the waiting game again.

Wait for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

Lord, we aren’t Baptists. Is this where you want her? Erika won’t know anyone. She has never been there before. . .but then again, we aren’t Baptists, but both Baptists and Covenanters believe in the same God – that He is the only way to heaven, so who cares if it’s a different denomination? Erika won’t know anyone; it will be a chance for her to be Erika, not Nick’s little sister. She will be able to make new friends. She will be able to make memories that are all her own. Most of all, she will be able to continue to grow in her faith and help others to do so too. Who knows? – she may or may not work there this summer.  It’s all up to you, God. I know that you love Erika, and I know you hear my prayers. I know that you have a plan for her, and help me to be content and trust that plan whatever it may be. Thank you for your patience with me, and thank you for being infinitely smarter and wiser than I could ever possibly be. You know best, and my hope is in you. Amen.


For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.” 2 Corinthians 4:17.

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