The Ultimate Oxymoron: Church Conflict - A Church United Becomes A Church Divided, Now What?

For almost a year, I have been grappling with church-related angst. My struggle has not involved the concept of church; it has stemmed from the actions and ideology of one church in particular. The trouble began last November with the building campaign at the church of which I am a member. Without getting into detail, I struggled the approach and integrity of the campaign. Apparently, I am not alone. At various intervals and without intentionally seeking the conversations, I have listened to the struggles and concerns of other church members with regard to the same issues as I over the past year.

Throughout it all, I have tried to address my angst in a Godly way, asking Him to be very specific and blunt with me (since that is really the only way anything gets through my thick skull). To explain, my prayer has been that God be very clear to me concerning what is a sickness of my own heart and what is a sickness in the church and most importantly, what He wants me/us to do.

A couple weeks ago as I was pondering and praying over the issue again, God reminded me that the best course of action was to consider the source: His Word. In addition to an intimate relationship with Him, His Word is the answer to every question that arises. As I started thinking about a place to start, I was reminded that church conflict and conflict amongst believers plagued the Corinthians. So I opened to 2 Corinthians and started reading Paul's letter in which he details his observations and advice with regard to the conflicts that were erupting. While I am not, and do not claim to be a theological scholar, here is what I gleaned from the process. Consider it food for thought.

1. Through God ONLY should all decisions occur. (1:12) Decisions regarding church, including policy, the body, the building. . everything should only be made from God's leading and prompting. In the same token, all decisions that a person makes in his/her life, including family matters, financial matters, spiritual matters, etc, should only be made from God's leading and prompting through "holiness and godly sincerity, not fleshly wisdom" (which is typically faulty and self-oriented.)


2. In 2 Corinthians 2:7, Paul reminds believers that we are called to forgive one another. It seems like such a simplistic thing to do, but our first impulse is ourselves - to protect our pride. However, when conflict occurs, this has to happen first.

3. Once forgiveness has occurred (genuine forgiveness), Paul reminds us that we are to reaffirm our love toward God and one another in 2 Corinthians 2:8.

4.  In 2:15, Paul reminds the Corinthians that we are being watched by unbelievers. "For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are being punished." When there is conflict within the church body, Satan is thrilled with the result. He is achieving his purpose, which is to weaken the body. When unbelievers see supposed-Christians fighting amongst themselves, it serves to reinforce any excuses or stereotypes they have regarding Christianity. And isn't a Christian's greatest purpose to bring glory to God and make disciples? "Therefore, also we have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him" (5:9)

5. In 3:6, Paul reminds believers that they are servants of a new covenant, which means their adequacy - all that they are, all that they need and all that they will ever be is from God, not themselves. In short, we are not our own. Therefore, the desires of our hearts and the endeavors of our hands are not our own. He basically reinforces #1 in this verse.

6. In 3:16, Paul talks about the fact that our human condition means there is a "veil lying over our hearts." This veil prevents us from clearly seeing God's purposes and desires, which then allows selfishness to control our thoughts and actions, which, in turn, leads to conflict. Whenever a man turns to The Lord, a "veil is taken away" (3:16). In 4:6, Paul states that when this happens, "a light shines out of the darkness."

7. As a point of encouragement, Paul reminds the Corinthians in 4:17 that even in affliction (conflict), God is using His people for His purposes. This particular verse is an encouragement to me. It has been a difficult year in many ways for me, but through it all, I am reminded that every difficulty and struggle is helping me to rely on God more and myself less. Even though I am not enjoying the process, I am encouraged that God cares so much about ME that he allows these difficulties in my life so that I can ultimately become the person He wants me to be. The same thing is true for His church. Even in the present circumstances and struggles, God knows exactly what He is doing and why He is doing it. Ultimately, it will bring Him glory.

8. Likewise, in the midst of these struggles, Paul states in 5:7 that we "walk by faith, not by sight." While we do not know the why of the situation, it's not our job to worry about the why. God has been very clear and firm throughout the Bible that our job is to be obedient to His voice and promptings. Our obedience to His voice in the small and seemingly simple circumstances in life means we ultimately follow His Will for our life. There is no need for us to know or see the big picture; however, there is a need for us to keep our eyes and ears trained on the Maker of the pictures.

9. Again, in chapter 5, verse 20, Paul states that believers are "called to reconcile." We are to put God first, above and beyond ourselves. It is not God's Will that we squabble and bicker with one another; both are products of a selfish nature.

10. Further, in 6:12, Paul reminds the Corinthians that we are own own worst enemies. Like the Corinthians, we limit our Godly potential because we are "restrained in [our] own affections." In conflict, we put our desires and "affections" first, which distracts us from God's desires.

11. In addition, Paul continues his line of reasoning by reminding the Corinthians that WE, as believers, ARE THE BUILDING, the sanctuary, the church itself. "For we are the temple of the living God. . .I [God] will dwell in them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people" (6:16). In 5:1, he presents a related idea: "For we know that if the earthly tent, which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens." Squabbling about a physical building is a non-issue because a physical building is not the church. It will ultimately rot and disintegrate.

In thinking about this concept, I am convinced that the discord within the church regarding the building campaign is symptomatic of a deeper issue. The building campaign has just been the vehicle that has been used to bring the issue to the surface.   What do we do about it? Start at number one and continue through the list again. Rinse and repeat as necessary.

12. In addressing this issue, Paul advises the Corinthians to "stay away from anything evil and cling to what is good." We are to recognize that which brings glory to God and run from anything that might prevent it.

13. Paul returns to the purpose of suffering in 7:9 by reminding the Corinthians that the reason for their present sufferings is to make them more like Christ. The same is true for us today:  "You were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the Will of God, in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us."

14. In order to be successful in resolving conflict, humility is an undeniable and absolutely necessary quality and condition of the heart. The purpose of pride is protection of the ego; it is a defensive mechanism that reacts when self feels threatened. If resolution is to occur, pride has to be left at the door. "For if the readiness [humility] is present, it is acceptable according to what a man has, not according to what he does not have" (8:19).

15. Just as humility is a necessary ingredient to resolution, so is the realistic examination of one's motives. If there is no true, Godly change of heart or if resolution does not involve forgiveness and reconciliation, conflict is bound to arise again. "Now this I say, he who sows sparingly shall also reap sparingly; and he who sows bountifully shall also reap bountifully" (9:6).  When a Godly nature and heart is applied, it follows that blessings will overflow.

16. Yet again, in 10:5, Paul reminds the Corinthians that the most important point to consider is obedience to Christ, not obedience to a group. . .or idea. . .or worship style. . .or building, etc. "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of Christ, and we are TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE TO THE OBEDIENCE OF GOD." God is the filter through which every thought and action occurs.

17. In 10:7, Paul asks the question: Whose are you? Examine YOUR own heart. To whom do your thoughts and heart belong? What are your motivations? What drives you? "You are looking at things as they are outwardly. If anyone is confident in himself that he is Christ's, let him consider this again within himself, that just as he is Christ's, so also are we."

18. In 11:3, Paul dares the unthinkable and tackles the unmentionable by asking the Corinthians, are we being lead away Satan? Is the present conflict a result of Satan's influence? "But I am afraid, just as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds should be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ." Likewise, what, in our present circumstances, has led us away from the "simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ"? Have we allowed the details, rules, and window dressing to get in the way of what is most important?

19. In asking the question, Paul provides the solution in 13:5 by again reminding the Corinthians to examine their own hearts. "Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you - unless indeed you fail the test?" Ouch. It's important to ask the question, but be prepared for the answer - even if you may not like it.

20. Lastly, Paul reminds the Corinthians (and us) to do what is right. "For we can do nothing against the truth, but only FOR the truth" (13:8). Our purpose is to be conveyors of true, light, salt, and good; all actions and thoughts are held accountable to that purpose. And when we slip and fall (such is the condition of conflict), "we rejoice when we ourselves are weak but you are strong; this we also pray for, that you be made complete" (13:9).In all and through all, our pray should be that God's Will be done (as He would have it, not us). Paul ends his letter by saying that above all, we should "live in peace" (13:11).

So now what? Is this the ultimate butt-chewing? Are we supposed to be remorseful? Ashamed? Defeated?

Not at all. Through His Word, God has shown us (me) very clearly the motivations of conflict, the dangers of conflict, and ways to resolve conflict - whether it be church, family, work-related (etc) conflict. Rather than focusing on who is right and who is wrong or what I want or don't want or what I like or don't like,  my (our) job seems to be, in its most basic form, to focus on what God wants.