Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Epic Fails: Falling from Grace or Grace For Falls?



Yesterday was an epic fail kind of day.  I have a particularly-pesky group of sophomores, who are extremely immature and attention-seeking.  In trying to adequately describe the situation to others, I have said teaching this class is comparable to driving a stagecoach or a wagon.  I have a firm grasp on the reins at all times because if I relax at all, I will have a stampede on my hands.

As a teacher with 22 years of experience, I pride myself on maintaining my composure at all times.  I have seen and heard just about everything, so it is usually difficult for students to lure me in.  Well, yesterday, I dropped that ball big time.  I didn’t throw furniture or drop f-bombs or anything like that. I just got angry. 

In the greater scheme of things, this fact is not really that big of a deal.  It is just a big deal to me.  I consider myself a missionary of sorts.  With that in mind, I try to model Christ-like behavior so that others can see Him through me.  That’s why I am so disappointed in myself. 

As I was reading my devotions, I discovered a kindred spirit in Peter.  Matthew 26 talks about the Last Supper and the night on which Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane.  Verses 69-74, in particular, describe Peter’s disownment of Christ.

Of the disciples, Peter seems to be the most passionate.  He was one of those do-first, think-later kinds of people.  In being a follower of Christ, that seemed to be an admirable quality, especially in considering the seemingly-inexplicable and odd things that Christ asked the disciples to do.  He didn’t allow “what-ifs” or over-thinking to get in the way of him doing Christ’s bidding.  In short, Peter was modeling true Christian behavior.

Even so, Peter was also human, which means he was susceptible to sin and failure, just like the rest of us. In Matthew 26, we see Peter’s epic fail.

Early in the passage, Peter told God that he would never betray him. Then, later in the passage, he proceeded, three times, to deny Christ – complete with swearing! Then, according to the Bible, when the rooster crowed, “He went outside and wept bitterly” (v. 74).

As I read this passage, I was struck with a unique and weird observation. Why is it that when we fail, we want to be by ourselves to wallow in our shame.  Even now as I write this, I am sitting in my bedroom with the door closed. I have erected an invisible wall with an equally invisible sign that says, “Do not enter.” This must be an instinctual response because it was Adam and Eve’s first impulse after sinning in the Garden of Eden as well.  They ran and hid from God.

I suppose it is because sin (moral failure) is a betrayal of God – our Father, Creator, Friend.  We are ashamed to face the one with whom we should have our closest relationship.  In considering all He has done and sacrificed for us, it seems pathetic when we fail/falter in offering up the only thing we have to give in return – ourselves.

Even in the midst of our epic fail moments, there is encouragement.  First, the fact that we have such instinctual reactions (shame, self-loathing, a desire to run) attests to the fact that we are/were/have been made in God’s image.  We have an innate sense of right, wrong, and sin.  What a blessing to be equipped with such knowledge!  Even though choice and consequence still lie at our feet, God has given us, as His creation, the ability to not only choose but choose wisely. It is a matter of will, not ignorance.

“The sense of the irreparable is apt to make us despair. If we imagine this kind of despair is exceptional, we are mistaken; it is a very ordinary human experience. . .never let a sense of failure corrupt your new action” (Oswald Chambers).

Secondly, we know that God covers our failures.  The price for our sin has been paid.  We do not have to agonize over our failures because “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12).

God takes care of our epic fails, so we can let them go.  By running to Him versus from Him, we find forgiveness and our new, true focus.

No comments:

Post a Comment