Saturday, October 25, 2014

Derailing the Emotional Rollercoaster: How to Get Back on Track



When I decided to resume my 5 am exercise regime, I needed a new series to watch in order to keep me motivated.  Quite randomly, I chose the British series, Call the Midwife, and promptly got sucked into the storyline.  
  
It’s been about three weeks since I started, and I consider this series the equivalent of a good piece of chocolate.  I restrict myself to one episode per day so that I can savor it as I would a piece of chocolate.

But that isn’t the weird part. 

For each episode that I watch, I always end up bawling at some point in the show. It’s ridiculous. The obvious question would be “Why watch the show if it makes you cry?” That is, indeed, a good question. I just end up getting so emotionally-wrapped up in what is happening that I end up crying, either due to joy or sadness.  I am just far too empathetic for my own good.

Since Facebook quizzes (Why Harry Potter character are you?) are ubiquitous, the latest quiz to make the rounds in my friend groups has been the Memorando Test based on the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment.  While I realize that these quizzes can quickly become self-fulfilling prophecies, I once again (I took the Myers-Briggs Assessment in college) was deemed an INFJ. This means that I am Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.  That said, it’s not a stretch to see why I am so empathetically-wired and prone to waterworks. 

It’s tough to decide whether or not this is a good thing. On the one hand, I am very attuned to people’s non-verbals and moods. On a practical level, this is useful in school because I can defuse a potentially-volatile situation or perceive the nuances of student personality a little quicker. On the other hand, my own emotions can sometimes override common sense and create inner unnecessary inner turmoil. 

This got me to think about emotions in the general sense.

I have started reading The Screwtape Letters again. In one chapter, Screwtape underscores to Wormwood that selfishness and emotions are strongholds of the Enemy. For example, Screwtape told his nephew that disappointment always precedes an endeavor for God. If a human can get through the roadblock of emotion, s/he will not be so tempted again and is able to do what God asks. 

I can relate. Emotion has hijacked my life’s journey several times.  It is the reason why I allowed myself to get sucked into an eating disorder and has co-existed with every disappointment in my life. Anger, jealousy, hurt. . .all of it has asserted itself as an impenetrable cloud, impeding me from spiritual progress. I am not alone. 

Fear was an emotion that began in the garden as soon as Adam and Eve sinned. It followed selfishness – the me-first act of eating the apple-even though God had explicitly said no. “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.  She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  Then, the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked” (Genesis 3:6-7)

It was the first time that a new, sinful definition of word, “fear,” evolved. “But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid” (Genesis 3:9-10). Prior to that, the fear of the Lord existed, but it meant awe and respect.  Fear changed the course of mankind and has impeded us from obedience from that time forward. Fear blocks faith. The two cannot co-exist; it’s either one or the other. 

Likewise, pride is a multi-faceted word.  Most people see it as a brash arrogance, which it certainly can be.  It can also be any other selfish emotion – disappointment, frustration, fear, jealousy, etc. The fact is that they are ALL selfish emotions because they stem from OUR personal expectations, not God’s.

So if they are so problematic and often lead us to sin, why did God create emotions? Why do they even exist? Why did He create some people with an extra-sensitive, empathetic, emotional streak?
Emotions are only problematic when they originate from self. When they are God-inspired, they are beautiful.  Galatians 5:22 provides a marvelous list to illustrate that fact: “But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” The emotion is not the problem; the origin of emotion is. 

Oswald Chambers writes: “One of our severest lessons comes from the stubborn refusal to see that we must not interfere in other people’s lives.” Our focus is to be only on God – so attuned to Him – that we receive our directives, including emotively-based ones, from Him. 

To explain, helping others can be an act of love. . .if God has called us to it.  While our hearts may be in the right place, helping others can also be a detriment to our faith, even when we justify our actions as Godly.  For example, if people run around trying to “help” all the time, they will wear themselves out and lose focus on the One from whom all energy, focus, goodness, and love originate. As Chambers says, “a saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God.”

Immediately, the question is how do I know when it’s me or God that is controlling my emotions? The answer is that if you have to ask that question, then you have not yet completely died to self or risen to the level of being wholly connected to Him in the first place.  

God is the author and creator of all things, including emotion. He does not allow something to exist or happen that does not, in some way, correlate with His Will and Plan. When we align ourselves with the Creator, we see emotion, not as a pesky nuisance, but as a useful way to love one another more deeply and ultimately show our love for Him.  

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