The Ship is Leaving the Harbor. Bon Voyage.

Over a bowl of stew today, my husband and I wandered on to the subject of our church.  To be brief, our church has been struggling for a good seven years. In more ways than one, we resemble Joseph’s dream. In the early 2000s, we had seven strong years, and now, we are experiencing famine. 

As Mike and I were discussing the situation, my phone buzzed, indicating a text message.  Some friends of ours were visiting their son today.  He is currently interning at the church where our former youth pastor is now senior pastor.  As the pastor’s name came to mind, I asked my husband, “What is it about Dave? When he was at our church, he had a whole bunch of people who were eager to work for him and be a part of his programming? And now, at his new church, they are already growing like crazy? What makes him so different from all other pastors?”

As we chewed on our stew, we chewed on the topic as well. At our church, morale is low. Without getting into too many details, church attendance has been steadily waning, and I will admit that Mike and I have been half-heartedly shopping around at other churches as well. Not surprisingly, it has become more difficult now than ever to find members to volunteer and serve, and after a popular member of the staff recently left, several families opted to leave as well. All this led us back to the original question, “What is it about Dave?”

My husband is often a dark horse in conversation.  On more than one occasion, he has blind-sided me with the simple truths of life, and today was no exception.  He simply said, “I think that all of our pastors have just become too comfortable.”  

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, all of our pastors have been in the church business for a long time, and maybe they have just become too comfortable.”

It’s true. The pastors at our church have a combined total of around sixty years of service.  I’m not saying that’s a bad thing; experience breeds wisdom.  However, it’s also easy to fall into ruts and habits. . .and let’s face it, just get tired.  Likewise, in having been in service for that long, it’s easy for leaders to determine that their ways are the best and only ways, almost as if they have the divine pipeline to Godly information. I don’t mean to sound disrespectful, but that sort of attitude is an arrogant one, which often alienates and disenfranchises people.   And yes, I am speaking from experience, but not bitterness.

So, back to the question, what is different about Dave?  Well, Dave has always been ANYTHING but comfortable. Dave is the epitome of the Godly stretch.  Back in the day, I worked with him for a while as a junior high youth leader. I remember him telling the kids (and me) about the fact he had started to play basketball at the City Auditorium.  He didn’t know anyone, and he didn’t talk about God while there unless someone specifically asked him a question.  He just played basketball.  Dave used that example to explain to the kids that if you want to have any hope of pointing someone to Christ, you have to have a relationship with the person first.  But that was just a small example of the Dave stretch.

About six or seven years ago, Dave felt a call to continue his education to become a senior pastor.  He had a thriving youth ministry, was involved in the community and local school, and was quite literally at the top of his game.  Even so, he believed God was calling him to a new and different challenge. This one, however, required him to pack up a family of six, sell a house, and relocate the entire conglomerate to inner-city Chicago so that he could attend North Park University.  He left everything that was comfortable – a cozy community, a successful position, and financial stability – for an ultimate God-stretch. Today, he has his own congregation, and as I said, things are going quite well. 

So far, the Dave story seems to illustrate the precarious challenges and perks of a faith-driven life. That gives me hope  - not only for our church, but also for my family.

To explain, on Monday, my husband found out that he will be unemployed on February 1.  He has worked for the same company for twenty-five years, and now, due to a downturn in the industry, the company has to downsize, which means my husband and a sea of his co-workers are out of a job.

Both of us (and our families and close friends) have already been praying over the change. Although there are flickers of apprehension, we are looking for a God-ordained employment fit, not just a job. We are in a united faith agreement that there is no doubt that God’s got this. 

After our conversation today, I was energized and challenged.  We, too, have become very comfortable.  We have lived in the same general area our whole lives; we have gone to the same church throughout the duration of our marriage. In spite of an occasional ripple and/or burst of well-intentioned spiritual growth, our lives are predictable, routine, and yes, comfortable.  Now, due to circumstances beyond our control, we are in for a stretch. Right now, though, that’s not as daunting as it looked yesterday. 

The key is relationship. It’s just like Dave said; there’s no hope without relationship first.  Actually, Dave didn’t say it first.  God did.

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me” (John 15: 4). If there is to be any joy, blessing, or fulfillment in this earthly life, it can only be found when we are completely, wholly, and unequivocally one with the Father. 

“Most of us live on the borders of consciousness-consciously serving, consciously devoted to God.  All this is immature; it is not the real life yet.  The mature stage is the life of a child which is never conscious; we become so abandoned to God that the consciousness of being used never enters in. When are consciously being used as broken bread and poured-out wine, there is another state to be reached, where all consciousness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is eliminated” (Oswald Chambers).

This doesn’t mean we will be without trouble.  Quite the opposite, a God-centered life usually means a passel of trouble because God is always pushing us beyond the bounds of comfortability. As the cliché states, God is not interested in our comfort; He is interested in our character. A life of faith is a life of fulfillment. 

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body” (2 Corinthians 4:9-10).

So what happens next? The answer is whatever God has ordained.  My job is not to micro-manage, obsess, worry, or control the situation, whether it’s church or my family.  “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me” (John 21:22). Even though the first part of the verse was referencing the disciple, John, the message here is clear.  Don’t worry about anyone or anything other than me. 

“If you do not cut the moorings, God will have to break them by a storm and send you out.  Launch all on God, go out on the great swelling tide of His purpose, and you will get your eyes open. If you believe in Jesus, you are not to spend all your time in the smooth waters just inside the harbor bar, full of delight, but always moored; you have to get out through the harbor bar into the great deeps of God and begin to know for yourself” (Oswald Chambers).

I guess the ship is leaving the harbor.  Bon voyage.

Derailing the Emotional Rollercoaster: How to Get Back on Track

When I decided to resume my 5 am exercise regime, I needed a new series to watch in order to keep me motivated.  Quite randomly, I chose the British series, Call the Midwife, and promptly got sucked into the storyline.  

  

It’s been about three weeks since I started, and I consider this series the equivalent of a good piece of chocolate.  I restrict myself to one episode per day so that I can savor it as I would a piece of chocolate.

But that isn’t the weird part. 

For each episode that I watch, I always end up bawling at some point in the show. It’s ridiculous. The obvious question would be “Why watch the show if it makes you cry?” That is, indeed, a good question. I just end up getting so emotionally-wrapped up in what is happening that I end up crying, either due to joy or sadness.  I am just far too empathetic for my own good.

Since Facebook quizzes (Why Harry Potter character are you?) are ubiquitous, the latest quiz to make the rounds in my friend groups has been the Memorando Test based on the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment.  While I realize that these quizzes can quickly become self-fulfilling prophecies, I once again (I took the Myers-Briggs Assessment in college) was deemed an INFJ. This means that I am Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.  That said, it’s not a stretch to see why I am so empathetically-wired and prone to waterworks. 

It’s tough to decide whether or not this is a good thing. On the one hand, I am very attuned to people’s non-verbals and moods. On a practical level, this is useful in school because I can defuse a potentially-volatile situation or perceive the nuances of student personality a little quicker. On the other hand, my own emotions can sometimes override common sense and create inner unnecessary inner turmoil. 

This got me to think about emotions in the general sense.

I have started reading The Screwtape Letters again. In one chapter, Screwtape underscores to Wormwood that selfishness and emotions are strongholds of the Enemy. For example, Screwtape told his nephew that disappointment always precedes an endeavor for God. If a human can get through the roadblock of emotion, s/he will not be so tempted again and is able to do what God asks. 

I can relate. Emotion has hijacked my life’s journey several times.  It is the reason why I allowed myself to get sucked into an eating disorder and has co-existed with every disappointment in my life. Anger, jealousy, hurt. . .all of it has asserted itself as an impenetrable cloud, impeding me from spiritual progress. I am not alone. 

Fear was an emotion that began in the garden as soon as Adam and Eve sinned. It followed selfishness – the me-first act of eating the apple-even though God had explicitly said no. “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.  She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  Then, the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked” (Genesis 3:6-7)

It was the first time that a new, sinful definition of word, “fear,” evolved. “But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid” (Genesis 3:9-10). Prior to that, the fear of the Lord existed, but it meant awe and respect.  Fear changed the course of mankind and has impeded us from obedience from that time forward. Fear blocks faith. The two cannot co-exist; it’s either one or the other. 

Likewise, pride is a multi-faceted word.  Most people see it as a brash arrogance, which it certainly can be.  It can also be any other selfish emotion – disappointment, frustration, fear, jealousy, etc. The fact is that they are ALL selfish emotions because they stem from OUR personal expectations, not God’s.

So if they are so problematic and often lead us to sin, why did God create emotions? Why do they even exist? Why did He create some people with an extra-sensitive, empathetic, emotional streak?

Emotions are only problematic when they originate from self. When they are God-inspired, they are beautiful.  Galatians 5:22 provides a marvelous list to illustrate that fact: “But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” The emotion is not the problem; the origin of emotion is. 

Oswald Chambers writes: “One of our severest lessons comes from the stubborn refusal to see that we must not interfere in other people’s lives.” Our focus is to be only on God – so attuned to Him – that we receive our directives, including emotively-based ones, from Him. 

To explain, helping others can be an act of love. . .if God has called us to it.  While our hearts may be in the right place, helping others can also be a detriment to our faith, even when we justify our actions as Godly.  For example, if people run around trying to “help” all the time, they will wear themselves out and lose focus on the One from whom all energy, focus, goodness, and love originate. As Chambers says, “a saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God.”

Immediately, the question is how do I know when it’s me or God that is controlling my emotions? The answer is that if you have to ask that question, then you have not yet completely died to self or risen to the level of being wholly connected to Him in the first place.  

God is the author and creator of all things, including emotion. He does not allow something to exist or happen that does not, in some way, correlate with His Will and Plan. When we align ourselves with the Creator, we see emotion, not as a pesky nuisance, but as a useful way to love one another more deeply and ultimately show our love for Him.