When asked, most teachers will explain that they knew they wanted to be a teacher from a very young age. Most will regale you with tales of how they would line up their stuffed animals or siblings and "play school." Many will confess that their parents and/or grandparents were teachers as well.
I am the exception to this rule. I did not play school. I played with Barbies. . .A LOT, not baby dolls, but Barbies. "Store" was also big on my play list. Shelves in the basement were lined with all sorts of "goods" that my brother and his friends could "buy," while I ran the cash register. No one in my family tree was, or had been, a teacher.
When it came time to decide on careers in high school, there was really only one on my list: Journalism. I loved to write, and I loved the class of the same name. I wrote for both the yearbook and the school newspaper; when I did, I felt "in the zone." I had found my passion.
Therefore, when I enrolled in the class, "Intro to Mass Communications" at SCSU, I was ready to start my career. As the class wore on, however, my enthusiasm wore thin. Finally, I had a "come-to-Jesus" moment in which I finally admitted that Journalism was not the career for me, simply because I did not want to spend the rest of my life writing about tragedy and bad news in people's lives. I realize that journalism involves far more than tragedy, but I just didn't want to be a perpetuator of it.
The ensuing, panicked question was, "Now what?" I was closing in on the end of my sophomore year in college. It was go-time in choosing a career. Any more wavering about a major would mean that I would be taking and paying for classes for the fun of it; I was out of general slots to fill.
After considering my passions, reading and writing, I wracked my brain to come up with a career that would allow me to use both. A light bulb went off.
I became a teacher by default.
It's not a glamorous story, and when pressed by my students as to how I entered this career, I generally try to defer the question. It's not that I want to mislead them; I don't want them to think I became their teacher because I couldn't find anything better to do (which is basically the truth).
On Tuesday, I will start my 22nd year of teaching. The first nine were amazing. Even though I was a new teacher and a new mom at the same time, I loved every minute of it - the challenge, the creativity, the kids. Then, I switched schools (to be in the same District and on the same schedule as my kids), and something tilted off center that has never quite been righted. It's like there is a little piece in the internal machinery that needs to be replaced, but I don't know where it is or how to fix it. Nevertheless, my love for my students remains as strong as ever. Even though they suck the energy right out of me, I look forward to seeing them every day.
Even so, two pesky words, "What if?" have clouded my thoughts about this career within the last few years.
In 12th grade Communications (English), we read a book called Things They Carried. My favorite chapter is "On the Rainy River." Tim O'Brien has to decide whether to go to Vietnam or flee to Canada after he receives his draft notice. In order to underscore the difficulty of O'Brien's decision, we read and discuss a poem by Robert Frost called "Road Not Taken." See poemThe poem describes two choices that look equal, but the narrator just has to pick one and not look back. He promises himself that he will return one day to check out the choice he didn't take, but even as he says the words, he knows it is a lie.
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two road diverged in a wood and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
The last two lines always annoy my students. They are completely subjective and can go either way. The last line can be positively or negatively interpreted based on the narrator's attitude and inflection about his/her life-changing decision. In others words, it can be the best decision s/he has ever made or the worst.
Every time I have read the poem, my career decision burbles to the surface. In an effort to add authenticity, I tell my students my story, and they always ask, "Mrs. Aaker, are you glad you became a teacher instead of a journalist?" Of course, I tell them what they need to hear. And it's true sometimes, and sometimes, it's not.
Until yesterday.
This year, WHS is offering a new elective, Journalism, and ironically (God has a funny sense of humor), my colleagues chose me to teach the class. Again, to add authenticity to the experience, I emailed a former student of mine, who is a sports writer for the XXXXXX Times. I asked if he would be willing to come and talk to my class about his career and his journey to becoming a journalist; he enthusiastically accepted.
In between scheduling details, we caught about our personal lives, and he wrote the following:
I am glad to help out any way that I can with the class. I’m just happy people are still interested in journalism. We’re suffering right now in the print industry. There’s a lot of layoffs and re-shaping of the industry going on. Eventually we’ll all be online, but it’s just taking baby steps to get there.
My company, XXXXXX, is restructuring all of its newsrooms and will have 15 percent layoffs in all 81 of its papers. We’re one of them. We’ve had some people quit in the past 4 months, so most of us should be fine. We might lose 1 or 2 people during the restructuring.
The weird thing is we have to re-apply for the new positions and interview for them. A lot of people are stressed out to say the least. So, hopefully I still have a job when I come down there in October. I’ve been told I’m safe, but you never know.
In chewing over his words and my personality, a light began to peek over the horizon of my thoughts. If I had chosen to become a journalist instead of a teacher, I would probably be burned out by now, looking for an out. Undoubtedly, I would have grown tired of the various writing beats by now, and I might have even been tired of writing - which would be the biggest tragedy ever. Plus, based on what is happening in the industry right now, I would be wondering if I would even be recalled (older staff are more expensive staff). Of course, there are no guarantees about my hypotheses, but like I said, I know myself and have lived long enough to understand how the world works.
As frustrating as my teaching can be (and there are many frustrations), the pros still outweigh the cons. While subject matter and necessity ultimately caused me to choose teaching as a career, people are now THE most important aspect of my career.
My faith is the center of my life and flows into every aspect of my career. Each day I go to work, I have the opportunity to do good and be a positive influence- to try to make the world a better place than it was the day before. Everything I do and say is carefully monitored, weighed, assimilated, and/or rejected; I am always "on." One way or another, I am influencing someone - positively or negatively. The Bible says that the bar is set high for people who teach.
"Not many of you should become teachers my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." James 3:1
I realize that Christ is speaking of spiritual teachers, but I believe it applies to me (all of us, really) as well. Rather than take that verse as a threat, I see it as the ultimate challenge. I get to invest my time, energy, talent, and passion into a person - as many will let me into their lives - not a philosophy, machine, or organization. I have job security. Knowing what I know about myself, I NEED that piece in my career, or I would consider my career to be pointless.
Finally, "What if?" can be returned to the murky depths of doubt from which it originally arose. There is now no question in my mind that I am supposed to be a teacher. As has ALWAYS been the case, God knows me better than myself, and He has led me to this career for a reason.
Although my decision to walk this path was unorthodox and confused even me, the fact is that God has me exactly where He wants me, and I best be working with Him than against Him with my irrelevant side drama.
"Keep right with God and let Him do what He likes , and you will find that He is producing the kind of bread and wine that will benefit His other children." (Oswald Chambers)
And when I do,
"I shall be telling this with a sigh (of contentment)
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two road diverged in a wood and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
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