Are you the "go" pedal or the brake? In other words, are you the one who usually says, "YES! Let's do this!" or are you the one who typically says, "Um, I don't know if that's such a good idea." I suppose it's not fair to classify a person as one or the other because a person's reaction can be situational. However, all of us possess a natural propensity toward one or the other. It seems as though most relationships have one of each in them..
At our house, I'm usually the "go" pedal while Mike is the brake. Yep, I kind of figured that you might be surprised by that. In fact, the joke with the kids is that if they ask Mike a question, they already know the answer, which is "no." They used to get really mad about that, but now, they just expect it. As I explained to them, Dad usually says no because he needs some time to think it through. If he says "yes" right away, he might get himself locked into something out of which he cannot escape.
When it comes to trips and new adventures, I tend to be the "go" pedal. Should we join the Y? Yes! Should we go to Ecuador on a mission trip? Yes! Should we do a Color Run? Yes! There are really two areas of my life in which I tend to be the brake. One is vehicles. (Should we buy a different vehicle? NO!)
The other is church.
No, it's not because I am negative and legalistic. It's because when it comes to matters regarding church (or for that matter, social changes in the larger, secular society), I believe that once we let something go, it's nearly impossible to get it back again. Depending on the situation, that can be a good thing, but it can also be devastating.
What's the big deal about church? Why even bother getting worked about it? Why should we even care? After all, the most important consideration is a person's faith - his/her personal relationship with God. If church is just going to be an impediment in a person's faith walk, then skip it. Apparently, many Americans feel the same way. A poll recently stated that 76% of Americans reported that they were Christians while the same poll revealed that 43% of Americans claim to go to church regularly. Clearly, there is a disconnect. However, there are a few reasons why this philosophy doesn't work.
First, if you claim to be a Christian, and you really are one, then going to church is not a chore. One of my children and I had this discussion not too long ago. One of my kids had been working too many Sundays in a row to the point that the person was not able to attend church. I called the kid out on it, and naturally, it resulted in a rather heated discussion. At one point, the kid was on the defensive and said, "You don't have to go to church to be a Christian."
I think I surprised my child by saying, "I agree. You do not have to go to church to be a Christian." I continued by saying, "However, if you are really in a relationship with God, going to church is something you want to do, not something you have to do."
Our sole purpose is to bring glory to God; it is our reason for existence. Part of that worship is worship. . .with other believers. (Hebrews 10:25). And speaking of others, we are expected to gather to gather to encourage and equip each other for the second reason of our existence - to go, to love on others, and make disciples for Christ. (I Peter 4:10; 1 Thessalonians 5:11).
All righty then. That makes church sound like a happy Disney musical. However, that fantasy is. . .well, a fantasy. The truth is that believers who attend church are there for a variety of reasons, but the bottom line is that those who attend church do so by choice.
Even so, believers who attend church are also human - flawed, emotional, and whether one wants to admit it or not, completely self-involved. From birth to death, we fight that one, generally unsuccessfully, I might add, which is why we need God's grace. And since we are flawed, in spite of our best intentions, conflict does arise in churches.
This particular topic, with particular regard to the church of which I am a member, First Covenant, ebbs and flows in my mind. The situation at FCC can best be described as a wobbly stool. For example, when a person sits on a wobbly stool, it becomes clear fairly quickly that something isn't right. To fix it, a person can wad something up under one of the legs to try to stabilize it, or just sit still to keep it from wobbling, but it doesn't change the fact that something is out of whack. No matter what "band-aid" approach a person takes to amend the problem, the fact is that a slight shift of weight reminds the person that the problem isn't fixed.
Sunday's service was one such "weight shift" of the wobbly stool. Throughout the week, I have been privy to various discussions regarding it, and so I have been digesting, dissecting, and awaiting God's divining. To explain, when it comes to the various issues of church conflict, people on both sides of the issues feel strongly that their opinions and subsequent decisions are faith-based. I am no different. I have asked God for wisdom - to show me the truth. I will gladly be His passionate advocate, but my worst fear that I would be passionately wrong and working against His purposes and plan.
All this was on my mind today while I was running my revolutions around the track at the Y. I still hadn't come to any conclusions, so I started thinking about people and what motivates them. Any time we get emotional - mad, sad, happy, etc, there is an impetus, something that fuels our actions and reactions, and finally, I had a revelation as to how to be discerning with regard to the conflicts.
Here it is. . . There are only two motivations for anything in life: Self or God. Period. End of story.
Thus, in the case of church conflict (where both sides claim altruistic, faith-based decision-making), the heart of the issue to be examined (and examined to the finest degree) is the true motivation.
For example, if a conflict erupts between two members who are on opposite ends of a church issue, and one of the members makes inflammatory personal remarks about the other's level of faith, it seems pretty clear that his/her motivation is not Godly. First, making the issue personal is a pretty good indication that s/he is on the defensive, which is clearly is tied to self. Secondly, s/he is not following the Biblical model of conflict resolution. Thus, if the Bible/God is not the motivator, it seems pretty clear who is.
I realize that this is a fairly generic, simplistic example, but I think you get the idea. A person who is truly of the faith will not only be in the Word and regularly praying; even people with mediocre or lukewarm faith do that. A person who is truly of the faith will make it a priority to tune his/her ear to God's voice and will act and speak according to God's leading and prompting. If s/he disciplines to live his/her life accordingly, his/her motivations will stem from the only root that gives life. Period.
Thus, it really, ultimately does not matter if one is the "go" pedal or the brake. The only thing that truly matters is the driver. You see, the driver controls the leg that is attached to the foot that compresses one pedal or the other. In short, the leg, foot, and ultimately, the direction of the vehicle are all controlled by the decisions of the driver. Thus, it seems as though selecting the right Driver is bigger, more important priority.
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