Anyway, he is here, and we are thrilled!
As I awoke this morning, I attempted to clear the fog in my brain by considering the date: March 25. Today would have been my grandma's 95th birthday. Growing up, I spent a lot of time with my grandma.
There's this "thing" that we all know to be true, but don't want to admit, and that is the fact that there is always a "favorite" set of grandparents. Yes, you love them both (or not, in some cases), but you are just naturally drawn to one set over the other, or based on the circumstances of life, you just spent more time with one set versus the other. Well, that was the case with my grandpa and grandma B. (my mom's parents). We just spent a lot of time with them on the farm.
After my grandpa died (he was only 56), I spent even more time with my grandma. Since I was the oldest grandchild, and a girl, it seemed like a no-brainer for me to be the extra person around on the farm.
That said, Grandma B. was probably my next-to-favorite relative (my uncle, Steven (my mom's brother), was my favorite). She was definitely a top influencer with regard to the person I ultimately became in life.
There were a lot of people who didn't really like her very much, including her own children at times. They thought she was rigid and very opinionated. She could have a sharp tongue, and she most definitely had a "face" and a "tone." Sound familiar? Yeah, me too. I'm basically a clone of my grandma.
I haven't patterned my life after her in that regard. Truly. That is just who I am. Maybe it's genetic? I don't know. Of the things I have patterned my life after, one is her sense of discipline, as well as her distinct sense of right and wrong. Grandma was a very scheduled person. She generally went to bed and got up at the same time each day. She followed the same routine, almost without exception. Her spiritual habits, in particular, are those I have applied to my own life. I watched carefully her habits of devotions and spiritual learning. She always had a Bible and a variety of spiritual books by her chair, and she read them usually in the morning (around coffee time). She also had a devotional book by her bed, which she would read each night before lights out. I know this to be true because for a while, after Grandpa died, I stayed over at her house, sharing the bed with her. I listened to her read the short devotion and prayer aloud to me.
I have applied these spiritual habits to my own life. I have a chair, and my Bible, three devotional books, and two notebooks are nearby. Each morning around 6 am, I am in the chair, reading and praying. These aren't there for show. These are all there and used because they set the pace for the day, for my life, for my actions and words. They are as necessary as a good breakfast to start the day. Watching Grandma at an early age set the pace for me. She has been such a influence that it's hard to describe.
This, of course, makes me wonder about my own new role as Grandma. Will I by worth paying attention to? What will my grandchildren see when they watch me? What habits, if any, if anything positive, will they pick up by hanging around me? Will there be anything worthwhile for them to pick up?
Grandma is not here, but she is. In choosing to be a teacher by profession, I have lived my life in such a way with the hopes that my presence and influence will be felt, long after my students have left the classroom and I am out of the daily fabric of their lives. Will this now be true of my grandchildren?
As I think about it, I remind myself that this is nothing for me to fret about. Forward into the eye of the storm, Grandma forged a path for me to follow, which I have no doubt was done for her as well. I have followed her tracks, and now, it's my turn to do the same for those who follow me. As I look up, I see the light in the distance, I know I'm moving in the right direction. As long as I keep my eye on that light, I can't go wrong, and neither will those who follow behind me.
